Thursday, May 31, 2007

teeth and lack of teeth

I took the day off. I had to. For those who did not know, our boys do not have the best teeth in the world, so after initial reactions and responses from our dentist, we knew that we had to have major work done in the boys' mouths. So today was the day.

We got the boys up earlier than usual so we could make it to the dentist by 7:30 this morning. We arrived there a little early and before too long they were ready to do some work on the boys. They started on Juancho, first giving him an initial shot before putting him on an IV to control the anesthetic. His turn lasted quite a while, more than two hours, as they capped teeth, filled cavities, and did some major stuff on his little mouth. During that time, Janine and I waited with Andres and tried to keep him entertained as best as possible. He did very well. We were then called in as Juan was done and coming off his anesthetic (he was really, really out of it). Andres got his shot and became quite dazed within a minute. His little mouth barely moved as he muttered "papi. . .papi. . .papi. . ." and then faded into an oblivious state before his turn in the dentist chair. His time lasted not nearly as long, as they had less work to do in his mouth (although he is now without his four front top teeth). All in all, we were there about 4 hours and spent more money on it all than I want to discuss (which reminds me that insurance is the biggest swindle in the world). The boys were both unable to control their appendages for a while and couldn't eat any solids, so we gave them water and applesauce and yogurt for most of the day. They did really well, though, and were very strong in spite of the pain and discomfort that they had to have been feeling for most of the day. They are troopers, for sure. I am proud of them.

While it was a long day, making sure they didn't stumble around and hurt themselves after the anesthetic, it is nice to have this behind us now. I am sure they will be thinking the same thing in a couple of days when the overall pain subsides and they are chowing down on hot dogs once again. It was good that I was able to take a day off work, as it would have been impossible for either Janine or me to do all of that on our own. I was glad she was there, and I am pretty sure she was glad I was there. I am glad it is done.

I have been listening to the new Elliott Smtih release. It is very good, very much an E.S. album. While the circumstances of his too early death are clouded at best, it is an understatement to say that we lost a great artist too soon.

On a note that doesn't really matter in any way shape or form, I am glad the Utah Jazz are out of the playoffs. I really can't stand most home teams, and I really can't stand home team fans. For the most part I believe that they are mostly full of bull and don't know what they are talking about. Here it will all be about blaming the refs for the series loss to San Antonio, and the boos and flying objects that rained down on the refs after game four. GOOD JOB, SLC...WAY TO SHOW YOUR SPORTSMANSHIP! Philly would be embarrassed if it acted like you. Bunch of homers, anyway. Utah sports...whatever...is there anything less insignificant?

Back to work tomorrow. I heard our client let our guys off early today. Figures. The day I am gone. Maybe I will be let out early tomorrow. Or at least on Saturday.

Hope all is well.

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

voices of dissent...

I have to say that it is refreshing to see that there are others out there who share the same opinion. I was quite frustrated the other day and believe that my frustration appears quite readily in my comments. I do not revoke them, though, as I thoroughly believe that what I wrote is something that needs to be considered regardless of one's position on such matters. Certainly it would not be complete without considering things on a more well-rounded facet, though, and thus I am intent in trying to vocalize the ways in which I see a more true hermeneutic being put into praxis in regard to our theology. I should note that I believe that our theology only extends as far as we are willing to be obedient to Christ, regardless of our "right thinking" or whether or not our lives are not in-congruent to the Christian norms to which we have become accustomed. Re-evaluation (or evaluation, as "re" part would necessitate a prior critique that I am not always sure that we have done) is beneficial in many ways, specifically as we become more and more willing to accept the humility of Christ as part of who we are. That leads us to reconsider much of the way we do things, why we do them, and to what extent it is good or true. This is a difficult task for anyone, as we try to do the impossible: looking outside of ourselves at ourselves. Our ears must be open to the stories that make up not only our lives, but the lives of others as well. We do not travel in this story on our own, nor are we the only ones affected by the story of Christ (leading us to the concept of our interpretation not necessarily being the truest interpretation). In what ways is Christ liberator? In what ways is He loving savior? In what ways is He righteous judge? How does this look to one who lives under condemnation versus one who lives in complacency? How do they differ? How are they the same?

I know my vision is lacking, as I am often reminded in conversations with other Christians. I also know that the philosophical underpinnings of my epistemological functions are different than they are/were for my parents, and in some cases some of my peers. I do practice a different hermeneutic than many of my evangelical brethren, and even would be called into question whether or not I was evangelical at all in other circles. I do know this: I believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Redeemer, the Son of God, and that through Him (in a way that I dare not pretend to truly understand) I am granted eternal life, whatever that means. My life has to reflect that which I believe, which is a daunting, if not impossible, task to begin with, so my words here reflect some of my thoughts on that from time to time. Hence my Memorial Day comments regarding church. Hence my thoughts on creation. Hence my distaste for patriotism that very strongly influences and blurs the lines to what my hermeneutic tells me Christianity actually is. I am green. I am green because I believe that God calls me to be so. I am political. I am political in the sense that I believe God calls me to clothe the naked, feed the hungry, and take care of the alien. What meaning does this have in this day and age, in this place? For me it means much about the rights of humanity, regardless of economic status or position or nationality. I am for amnesty, not for economic purposes, but because I love my neighbors, many of whom are undocumented. So I continue to participate (in small ways, but positive ways) to educate, to feed, to clothe, to disciple those with whom my family and I come into contact. I will continue to do so, even as I see families torn apart and the economic structures continue to cheat and swindle those who are already downtrodden. There are too many similarities between my own people and those who I see on the "underside" of society here, and it breaks my heart.

Humanity is a problem. My distaste for global, democratic capitalism is something that has come from the problem of sinful humanity. My Marxist sympathies come from such distaste even though I realize that political systems are as corrupt as the humans who are participating in such systems, and that is a problem. I don't believe that global democratic capitalism has any higher standing in the kingdom of God than does the values of a communist structure (without the "godless" aspect). I don't believe that democracy is inherently beneficial to societies, especially when, in many cases, it is inherently beneficial to a small amount of people while the rest are encouraged to continue on in their sheepish ways. Follow the herd. Don't wander too far from the flock. Etc.

Voices of dissent are often met as voices of the enemy and are often met with aggression that is not called for. This voice is one of dissent in most circles in which I travel, but I don't believe I am the enemy. I often have heard it said that we are lucky to be in a place where we are free to worship any way in which we please, but I wonder if that statement is true. What would be said if I offered smoke prayers to the north, south, east and west? What would happen if a congregation of Native Americans practiced the Ghost Dance in such a free land? Would they be slaughtered (Wounded Knee)? Is it so free? And if that freedom is true, does it disadvantage us by fostering a complacency which is unseen, unheard, unknown because of the ease of "worshipping" our God? I don't know. But I wonder.

So what kind of difference can we make? Again, what are we willing to do? Are we willing to be obedient? Are we willing to get up and go? Are we willing to do that which we are called to do even though it might not be our first, second or hundredth choice? What are we willing to do? Are we willing to live more simply? To take care of the earth? To actually value what it means to be the Bride of Christ? How would our lives look different? How would we treat the alien? How much gas would we use? Would we buy that shirt or shoes or those bananas? That Jesus is a hard act to follow. Seriously.


By the way, got the new Wilco and am enjoying it. Should I be buying more cds? I don't know. I am always fighting that one...

Monday, May 28, 2007

thoughts on any monday

I really can't believe how quickly the days go by. I thought it was maybe just ten days since I had last written, but it has obviously been longer. We have done quite a bit since my last entry.

We had our first post-adoption meeting with our social worker Donna. It went really well and was encouraging to hear that most everything we are experiencing is normal and that she thought we were doing a wonderful job. It is so nice that our kids are friendly, and comfortable enough to be friendly with other people, too. The meeting was quick and painless and left us feeling good about how things are going. We are required to have two more meetings (one in three months and another in nine) and then we will be done with our post-adoption meetings. It is nice to have people who have seen/been a part of this kind of stuff before.

It is also nice to have wonderful friends who have been helping us in a variety of ways since we returned from Colombia. The kindness and generosity of our friends is tremendous and humbles me beyond description. I don't want to name names and embarrass people, so to those who have been integral in our lives here and who have helped us out in innumerable and immeasurable ways: thank you for your friendship. . .your love radiates beyond that which you will ever know.

Last weekend we also got the chance to take a trip out to Antelope Island (north of our abode by about 45 minutes). We carpooled in two vehicles with our family, Brad, Traci, and Joel, Josiah & Jill, and Mr. 7-UP himself, Josh (Becky was working out of town) and headed out in the morning for a day of fun spotting animals, birds, and enjoying the beauty and fun of the ranch. We packed picnic lunches and ate in the shade of the lush picnic area while playing with the kids and enjoying good conversation. It was a very relaxing day that everyone enjoyed. The kids, especially, had fun looking at buffalo, horses, antelope, owls and other stuff. It is always nice to take the kids out to see the beauty of what God has created. I hope that is always a part of what we do with the kids.

We finished a large portion of our work at my job site (which I can't really talk about) recently and have cut down to one crew. I am one that is staying, but it isn't really getting any better. I enjoy this particular job, but with the cut down to one crew I am now getting more hours and have a lot less flexibility than I had when we were two crews. I am disappointed with the outcome (especially that one of the guys taken out was one with whom I really enjoyed working) but am willing to stick it out for the time being. My eyes are always open for new opportunity, but have yet to really locate anything that looks like anything for which I am educated or interested in doing. In cutting down to one crew it actually raised my hours by about 5 per week. I am disgusted with the time I spend working.

One benefit to working is meeting many different people and discussing issues from a variety of points of view. I have met a socialist friend (whom I always refer to as my socialist friend when I am discussing him) with whom I have lengthy conversations regarding politics, social sciences, economics, etc. He is from Venezuela and has found it to be his cause to challenge my communist sympathies, even though we agree on much regarding the faults of the current system of government/society/economics. It is obvious that it is no system that is absolutely correct of absolutely corrupt, and I believe my sympathies are a direct result to what I view as shortcomings and inconsistencies of global capitalism (in which the ills of our society are not even necessarily viewed or considered because of the adage: out of sight, out of mind). So now I try to keep my house greener...less energy...more carpooling...we try to not shop at places that have evolved into morally bankrupt centers of commerce (yeah, you, Wal-Mart) and have joined a local food co-op to try to support locally-grown, organic food. We also participate in having a local dairy operation provide us with their non-MDMH injected milk and cage-free eggs. I have also started buying my coffee from www.groundsforchange.com as another way of supporting fair-trade and ecologically sound growing methods. I say this, not to brag, but to maybe offer some small ways in which we can all make a difference. The global market is one of exploitation, but it will continue to exploit as people continue to buy at places that propagate such practices. We can help to administer change by changing our economic habits, by becoming more educated on the products we buy, the places we shop, and by starting out one step at a time. Can we shop locally? Do we need to continue to administer a get out of jail free card to corporations who continue to produce cheap products via cheap and unfair labor practices in other countries? Can we begin to walk in way that promotes humanity and not just a global market that benefits the consumer in the western world? The question I often hear is "what can I do?" when this discussion ensues. My answer is always the same: What are you willing to do? There are so many ways in which we can propagate change, but we have to be willing to do these things, we have to be determined, because they are not always easy. Look into it. Shop locally for as many products as possible. Avoid mass chains as much as possible. Look into greener living.

Memorial Day. It really takes on a different meaning to me, and probably to most Native Americans. I understand why the U.S. desires to honor its fallen soldiers, and I understand why it was instituted following the Civil War. But one has to at least admit that there are vast differences in opinion on what should be celebrated, in what way, and in what venue. We should also admit that there are differences in opinion in the conflicts or wars or whatever that we should recognize when discussing the politics of such a day that honors the fallen military men and women. Can we really say that our involvement in World War II should be treated the same as our involvement in Vietnam? Or what about the Civil War? Or our current conflict in Iraq? Are these fought for the same circumstances? Should they be discussed with the same sense of patriotism regardless of the varying circumstances? I personally don't think so. And then, as was so graciously pointed out to me in a church Memorial Day service (which made me want to vomit) yesterday, there were 1000 fallen soldiers in the "Indian Wars" which lasted about 80 years in the 1800's. Okay. 1000. That is a big number. That is larger than my hometown. It is nothing to laugh at. 1000. So how do I reply when in the most conservative estimates there were over 2.5 million Native Americans wiped out, many during this time? The largest estimates are closer to 10 million. How do I react to that? More Native Americans were killed than the sum of all the fallen U.S. soldiers in battle since 1776. And then to list the "Indian Wars" as part of this memorial day celebration? Honor that? I can't do it. My apologies to those who have served or are serving, but I can't do it. My memorial day looks very different. There are no flags flying at my house. The destruction of peoples and cultures is no reason to memorialize those who participated in such acts. Which brings me back to looking at the circumstances of our involvement in the multiple wars in which we have been involved since 1776. Are they not different? Are they not for different reasons? Do we really believe that we are protecting our soil by setting up garrisons (over 700) in the world? Or are we protecting our economic interests, or at least the economic interests of those who are involved (I don't care by what degree of separation)? Can we say that WWI is the same as Desert Storm? That WWII is the same as Operation: Iraqi Freedom? I am not anti-American at all. I don't mean to diminish or insult soldiers at all. But how can we not ask these questions? How can I not ask these questions, when I am not anti-American, but when what I see what America should be to look so much different than what it does right now? 2.5 million, the lowest estimate.

And back to this Memorial Day service being a part of our church service (actually, the whole service). It's absolutely ridiculous to propagate such things in a church service. Any memorial day in a service that does not mention remembering the story of God or discussing the building of Bethel as a monument in remembrance as to the direction that God has led us is not a memorial day service that I want to be a part of. It seems like a conflict to me that there is a pronounced separation of church and state in our nation, but in actuality the evangelical church often acts as if they are one in the same. So are we a part of a theocracy or do we have separation? I am not getting it. What do we want? Freedom to worship or prayer in schools? We really can't have both. It is logically not cohesive in a non-homogeneous society. So we deepen the shaded areas in the division of church and state by placing a flag on the power point and we sing nationalistic songs as hymns to God. We do this with children of immigrants, granddaughters of Japanese descent, and the lone Native American sit in a service that strangely did not even weave back and forth between God and nationalism, but strictly hanged itself in the realm of nationalism. Separation of church and state, indeed. I think I am going to be sick.

I am not an ingrate; I am a free-thinker.

Join your local library. Buy fair-trade. Consider the implications of less oil-production in an oil-based economy. Stop using Styrofoam. Re-use plastic bags. Tupperware instead of sandwich bags. Consider renewable energy. Change your light bulbs to compact fluorescents. Enjoy free public spaces. Make an impact on the way we treat the earth, not the earth itself. What are you willing to do?
http://www.gp.org/

Tuesday, May 8, 2007

Ro Sham Bo!

I missed out on the fun. Janine and the boys (and others) took off to Antelope Island the other day, causing me to contemplate taking the day off to go with them. I ultimately decided that I needed to work and make some sweet mullah with Uncle Rico (and Shirley had to go to school), so we missed out on the massive amounts of Buffalo and other fun animals (none of which are as cool as a buffalo) that they were able to see on the trip. I am anxious to go with everyone at some point, as it would be so fun to watch our kids as they observe wildlife. Maybe next time.

Tonight I put together bikes. We received a gift from Stantec the other day totaling $150 in gift card form for Toys R' Us. While I would never normally shop at a Toys R' Us, we had little choice and could not turn our noses up at a generous gift from the company. So we hopped into the minivan and cruised State Street until we came upon the previously mentioned toy store. It was empty, strangely, with massive amounts of freakish toys sitting on shelves, the floor, and I am pretty sure, stuck in the ceiling tiles. Fortunately the empty nature of the store made it quite a bit easier to shop with the kids, as they had to touch and try to play with each bike we saw. We actually spent more time picking out helmets for the kids, only to ultimately only purchase for Shirley with the thought that we could get the boys helmets cheaper elsewhere (we were right...thanks, Target). In the end we walked out with a three bikes, un-assembled, that were assembled tonight while no one was looking. Hopefully our free investment will turn out great and the kids will love the bikes. What they really wanted was a motorized child four wheeler that was there...not going to happen, kids. And we had to convince (read: tell her no) Shirley that she didn't need training wheels. Hopefully she will learn quickly and be cruising around in no time.

Work continues to be the same as always. Setting several multi-million dollar machines daily might sound exciting, but it really isn't. We have also recently replaced one of our mainstays with another guy, which is kind of a bummer, as the other guy was really our main conversationalist. Now we sit quietly and stare off into the distance during most of our breaks. Not exactly exciting stuff. I am pretty sure that I will be riding this job out, which means that I will be working there for about another year. We have seen some of it slow down a little, but for the most part things continue to be busy and stressful at times. I really should get paid more for what I do...

I got to play guitar again with my friend Johnny from work. He really has taken an interest in my songs and is spearheading the gathering of other players to work out our band. It has been fun so far, and I hope that we get more chances to play in the future. Right now he is talking about playing a gig in about two months (he has played in bands before and has some connections in the area). I think it would be a lot of fun. Right now we are trying to think of band names and not really coming up with much. I suggested No Blame Frankenstein, but Janine didn't really like that one. There are always the mainstays: Serious Frank, Marginal at Best, Everyday Balloons, Aye! Captain, etc. I guess we'll figure it out eventually. For some reason Johnny wants to play for people at IM Flash (where we work), but I am thinking that we would be able to get enough of the people we like to attend one of our shows while not having to play for those who may annoy us from time to time (anyone who gets in the way of my total station as I work). We'll see what happens.

Has anyone else picked up "What is the What" at all? I know of one friend who has read it, but I have heard very little from anyone else. It is worth the time and effort to read it. It is good.

It is that time of the year again, the time of the year I like to call May. Every year at this time I get a tremendous itch to go live in the woods, surrounded by mosquitoes and biting flies, getting filthy, not showering for 8 days at a time, and eating freeze dried food. Yes. It is Trail Crew time. I spend three years working for Wrangell St. Elias National Park Trail Crew, and it has stayed in my blood. We usually gather at this time of year to begin our season, renewing old friendships, laughing about past years, and talking about former members and where they are and what they are doing. Kind of difficult to do all that from SLC, but the jones is going. I definitely miss the trees and mountains, the ruggedness of WRST that is unparalleled, unmatched by anything I have ever seen (eat your heart out, Wasatch!). I miss the cold rivers, the thirty degree nights, the long hikes up mountains, and the rush of looking out across hundreds of miles as we pinnacle on a trail high in the Wrangells. I miss May Creek. I miss Skookum Volcano Trail. Yeah. It's that time of year...any former or current trail crew member knows what I am talking about. Rock on WRST Trail Crew Ever. Ro Sham Bo!

I am finally watching Robert Redford's documentary on the 1975 shootings of two FBI on Pine Ridge Reservation. Very interesting. A lot to think about, so recent, so tragic. I recommend it. So go watch it. It is called "Incident at Oglala".

Anyhow, I hope you are all doing well. I will not ever promise to try to write more here, because it mostly likely will not happen. I will just sign off and get ready for bed.
Take care.