as if I wasn't nervous before...

As if I wasn't nervous before...
It is really starting to hit me now. I sit on the edge of a bed, typing, not really understanding the feeling in the pit of my stomach. Some of it is good, some not so good. My usual go to at a time like this is Alka-Seltzer, but for now I know that nothing I take will calm me down. Nor should it.
We are 1/2 an hour away from leaving, to hit the bank, before we go meet our children. To be honest, I really don't understand or know what we are doing, and my head feels like it is in four different rooms on two different continents. Varsity basketball did not feel like this. Speeches in front of crowds did not feel like this. Performing music in front of strangers did not feel like this. All-state Jazz Band did not feel like this. My stomach dances.
As I have said before, I cannot anticipate how this will be, not even thinking of it all in the long term, but just today. My mind cannot formulate a solid continuous thought, and I cannot sit still. I am normally a pacer, but today I am cutting through tile as I jaunt back and forth from room to room. I am not sure what I will do in a taxi.

We are two hours from meeting our children. I am scared.