I have not disappeared. Please stay tuned. Something will be here soon.
Had some good snow recently. The kids absolutely love it. We were able to make a snow gorilla and throws some snow balls and shovel. It was good stuff. The most recent snow is still here (quite a bit this past weekend), so we may have some for a while. Shirley is getting excited for Christmas...but as much for getting presents for others as she is for getting presents herself. She is such a thoughtful kid. She has been spending a lot of time hanging out with B,T and 3J to help and hold the babies, as well as spending time hanging out with Sherri (our neighbor) and helping her with odds and ends around the house. She is always willing to help out and spend time with people...it is great to see. The boys continue growing and being boys. They are getting better with potty training and I am sure that they will one day just surprise us and have it down. They have loved Christmas lights and playing in the snow. Juan now thinks it is hilarious to ask if we can go to the farm because he knows that we won't be going while there is wet snow out there. He asks all the time. Funny guy.
Janine is now done with tutoring, a decision that she spent much thought and prayer in making. She will now be able to spend more focused time with the kids without the responsibilities of leading and tutoring in the tutoring program. I know that it is not an easy decision to come to, but we both feel that it is best for the kids. We just wrapped up our Kids Club Christmas party, too, which was a booming success. It was quite a bit of fun for everyone and we were extremely grateful for the generosity in gifts and the volunteers to help out. It was a lot of fun for all involved. Now that it is past, we are going to enjoy the month long break before we start again.
Josh, Josiah, Zack and I went to Iron & Wine on Friday night. It was a unanimous "show of the year." We were treated to a night of great musicianship and great songs, as well as some laughs and just a good show, in spite of Sam Beam feeling slightly under the weather. I would recommend to anyone to go to a show if given a chance. It was awesome. And it was probably the last show I will make it to in 2007. We've got Built to Spill (again) lined up for February, but we know little beyond that.
In a late decision, I have decided to go to Mexico with our church once again this summer. We will be heading down to most likely build a house somewhere in the vicinity of Tijuana. I am looking forward to the trip, but also to the preparation alongside our fearless leaders (Josh and Becky) and the rest of the ridiculously crazy Mexico crew (including Josiah and Jill, Tom and Erica). It should be fun. Mom Clemens...if you are reading this you should come stay with Janine July 12-19.
In job news, I got extended at my current job site for at least two more months. I was very pleased with the decision and thought it was a good choice by the company who is contracting me right now. It will keep me inside for the worst of the winter, too, which is nice, although the boots I bought three years ago for winter work are not getting the use I had anticipated:)) Oh well.
I want to get a banjo. I have been wanting one for some time now and have recently been pricing them online and playing one when I can get out to Guitar Center here in SLC. Does anyone have any suggestions or know of available banjos that might be of interest to me? Any insight on it at all? Let me know.
Anyhow, I am on my lunch break and should probably get going. I just wanted to drop a line quickly to let everyone know that I am still here and still planning on writing more. Hope all is well.
S.
Monday, December 10, 2007
Saturday, November 17, 2007
where have all the Noah's gone?
Last weekend we were able to go on a retreat up to the mountains. Janine had put together a weekend of discussion and reflection for the Kid's Club leaders, and offered us a time to get away together and discuss and strengthen our relationships with each other. It was a great time, to say the least. We had a lot of fun playing different games and challenged each other by sharing out hearts with each other. I found it to be a very encouraging time, a time that was put together well, and that allowed for freedom to pour ourselves out and soak in the goodness of Jesus Christ. I was glad that so many were able to make it up there and can't wait for another opportunity to do it again. The cabin was huge, too. Many rooms, many places to sleep, although the coffee maker was kind of lame...I guess I can live with that, though.
I think the last time I wrote we were still waiting for Brad, Traci and Joel to get home with the new additions to their family. Well, they are back with beautiful Jason and Jessica. We were able to go to the airport and meet them there, after a flight that was quite good considering that they were not able to all sit together and that they were traveling with three young children. It has been great to be able to see them adjusting as a family, to be a part of something similar to what we went through several months ago. Shirley has really taken to the babies quite well, always offering to go to B&T's house to help out. In fact, she was over there more than here for a few days. She has really enjoyed holding the babies and helping out. The boys have been a little more unaware, which is normal for kids of the age of Andres, Juan and Joel. They are certainly more interested in playing, and since Jason and Jessica cannot run back and forth, they are only peripherally interested right now. J & J have grown quite a bit already, and it has been fun to hear their little noises and see projectile spit-up and just to be around them. We are very glad to be a part of it and to have them all back.
So it sounds as if my time at IMFlash is coming to an end. At least my full time part of it all. I know that I will be back in limited form and function, but the ball is now rolling to figure out a system in which I will only be a visitor there instead of a regular. I have mixed feelings, to say the least. I have worked there roughly 19 months straight now, and have grown very accustomed to basically running my own show. As I set tools yesterday I was reminiscing about the days of running three crews and working 65 hours a week and how crazy it was. Now it is much slower, but in a good way. I have enjoyed the extra time with my family, being able to spend time with them, bonding more with the kids...it has been good. I am afraid that will come to an end when I go back to what I used to do. That bugs me. It is wintertime, however, and that usually leads to shorter hours in the field, but I am not really sure how that will all pan out. I am not even really sure when I will be taken out of full time work at IM at this point. I guess I will just keep going until they kick me out. It is odd to think that my 19 months there make up the majority of time that I have worked for Stantec. I have worked 19 of 31 months at IM. Crazy.
I have been thinking about holiness again recently. I can't help but to think that we often think of holiness as some sort of personal piety, some sort of inner thing that we strive for, that we are only responsible for on a singular, inward level. I can't help but to think that we strive for being "good" in our holiness, that we should attain certain levels of doing the right thing, of meeting a code of regulations or something. Even if we don't say that this is the way we think of things, I think that this is often how we live it out, and even more so, this is the bar that we set for others that we view and judge. I just don't think that this is a right idea of holiness at all. Holiness is not personal, it is not overtly concerned with "right" and "wrong" as we see it. It is not a level that we achieve by adhering to codes or creeds or by law. Holiness is a life that is wholly dependent upon Christ, a life that is concerned with otherness. The idea that we can do right or do wrong is something that is strong in our minds, but to simplify things to this level is creating a Pharisaical way of looking at holiness, as if we only need to avoid certain things and do other certain things to be what we should be. Our holiness does not evolve from an understanding of right and wrong, but from our understanding of love, forgiveness, grace, mercy. It comes from being wholly God's people, from our ability to interact with others as Christ would. Love, forgiveness, grace, mercy....can these be real if we are not able to exercise them in our interactions with others? Can they be a part of our inner being without being challenged by the ridiculous behavior and actions of others around us? Can we achieve wholeness in our personal piety? No. No. No.
The reality is that holiness has to be honed and made perfect in our interactions with others, not in doing "right" or "wrong" or by following tenets, but in our daily communion with the body of Christ, where it is made self evident whether or not we love our neighbors as ourselves. We can forever make up arbitrary rules according to our own likes and dislikes (in essence, our own likeness, replacing God with ourselves), but this only achieves established borders in which we boldly proclaim who is "in" and who is "out." But what if we didn't strive for our arbitrarily chosen "right" and "wrong"? What if we got past that to an actual striving for holiness, for wholeness among God's creation, including other people? What if we got past the idea of achievement or failure and simply rested wholly on Christ? Where would our inhibitions lie then? Would we be pressed into competitiveness with our friends? Our church members? Our co-workers? Ourselves? Or would we then be free to follow Christ?
I can hear responses now: we already do this...do we really need to forget right and wrong...I do lean wholly on Christ...
But I don't believe it. I believe we are inhibited by our fears of not being in control, of being somehow cast aside by a society (and, yes, I do mean our church(es), too) that proclaims a "right" and "wrong" way and that encourages us to simply be "good" in our actions, while not challenging us to live a life wholly given to Christ. We should work our jobs and pay our taxes practice our apologetics and go to another Bible study...which is all nice, unless the call of Christ is something different. We can live well, drive the speed limit, cast our votes based on one issue, go to church every Sunday, give money to the food bank...which is all nice, unless the call of Christ is something different. We can serve on the church board, make a cake for fellowship, sweep differences under the rug (ignore instead of confront our own inadequacies and prejudices), mow our lawns, save monies for retirement...which is all nice, unless the call of Christ is something different. And we may teach that holiness is wholly leaning on Christ, that it is obedience, faithfulness, of giving up ourselves...but what does it matter if we teach this when we live as thought holiness is a scale of "rights and wrongs" that can be easily read and we can quickly grade ourselves or others accordingly. Yes, read your Bible and pray every day, just like I learned when I was young, is something that is good, but if it leads to nothing then it is just ridiculous, it is just wasted time. That scale of holiness of church, bible study, service...is nothing if we are not changed, if we do not find ourselves being drawn to being made complete in Christ, that we are wholly relying upon Him for all things, that we are giving up our tendencies toward safety and the boundaries that we place that ensure that we are going to continue to feel safe. That is NOT HOLINESS! When we rest on ourselves and our comforts, we make ourselves God, which, if I am not mistaken, was a problem that troubled Lucifer and Adam and people constructing the tower of Babel. Where has Noah gone? Where is craziness? Where is the complete reliance upon God? Where is our obedience? Has it gone the way of the co-opted church that functions so much as an operative of this world that it has forgotten that it is supposed to be loyal to Christ and not to the things of this world?
Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
Let your mind be renewed. This is not a discourse on sin as a singular action or mistake we make in our lives. This is not, as we often think, a call that we should not live in the way that we have dictated by the imposing of our own will and likes and dislikes of how we should live (rights and wrongs), but a call to be in constant evaluation of the world, society, as it is. This is not "don't do this, do this," but rather a call to be obedient, a call to listen to Christ and to act accordingly! Are we called to disconnected lives that are deconstructed to a list of right and wrong or lives that are wholly dependent upon Christ? If you are wholly dependent, you will build an ark, you will be crazy. Don't be conformed. Be transformed.
I enjoy weekends.
I think the last time I wrote we were still waiting for Brad, Traci and Joel to get home with the new additions to their family. Well, they are back with beautiful Jason and Jessica. We were able to go to the airport and meet them there, after a flight that was quite good considering that they were not able to all sit together and that they were traveling with three young children. It has been great to be able to see them adjusting as a family, to be a part of something similar to what we went through several months ago. Shirley has really taken to the babies quite well, always offering to go to B&T's house to help out. In fact, she was over there more than here for a few days. She has really enjoyed holding the babies and helping out. The boys have been a little more unaware, which is normal for kids of the age of Andres, Juan and Joel. They are certainly more interested in playing, and since Jason and Jessica cannot run back and forth, they are only peripherally interested right now. J & J have grown quite a bit already, and it has been fun to hear their little noises and see projectile spit-up and just to be around them. We are very glad to be a part of it and to have them all back.
So it sounds as if my time at IMFlash is coming to an end. At least my full time part of it all. I know that I will be back in limited form and function, but the ball is now rolling to figure out a system in which I will only be a visitor there instead of a regular. I have mixed feelings, to say the least. I have worked there roughly 19 months straight now, and have grown very accustomed to basically running my own show. As I set tools yesterday I was reminiscing about the days of running three crews and working 65 hours a week and how crazy it was. Now it is much slower, but in a good way. I have enjoyed the extra time with my family, being able to spend time with them, bonding more with the kids...it has been good. I am afraid that will come to an end when I go back to what I used to do. That bugs me. It is wintertime, however, and that usually leads to shorter hours in the field, but I am not really sure how that will all pan out. I am not even really sure when I will be taken out of full time work at IM at this point. I guess I will just keep going until they kick me out. It is odd to think that my 19 months there make up the majority of time that I have worked for Stantec. I have worked 19 of 31 months at IM. Crazy.
I have been thinking about holiness again recently. I can't help but to think that we often think of holiness as some sort of personal piety, some sort of inner thing that we strive for, that we are only responsible for on a singular, inward level. I can't help but to think that we strive for being "good" in our holiness, that we should attain certain levels of doing the right thing, of meeting a code of regulations or something. Even if we don't say that this is the way we think of things, I think that this is often how we live it out, and even more so, this is the bar that we set for others that we view and judge. I just don't think that this is a right idea of holiness at all. Holiness is not personal, it is not overtly concerned with "right" and "wrong" as we see it. It is not a level that we achieve by adhering to codes or creeds or by law. Holiness is a life that is wholly dependent upon Christ, a life that is concerned with otherness. The idea that we can do right or do wrong is something that is strong in our minds, but to simplify things to this level is creating a Pharisaical way of looking at holiness, as if we only need to avoid certain things and do other certain things to be what we should be. Our holiness does not evolve from an understanding of right and wrong, but from our understanding of love, forgiveness, grace, mercy. It comes from being wholly God's people, from our ability to interact with others as Christ would. Love, forgiveness, grace, mercy....can these be real if we are not able to exercise them in our interactions with others? Can they be a part of our inner being without being challenged by the ridiculous behavior and actions of others around us? Can we achieve wholeness in our personal piety? No. No. No.
The reality is that holiness has to be honed and made perfect in our interactions with others, not in doing "right" or "wrong" or by following tenets, but in our daily communion with the body of Christ, where it is made self evident whether or not we love our neighbors as ourselves. We can forever make up arbitrary rules according to our own likes and dislikes (in essence, our own likeness, replacing God with ourselves), but this only achieves established borders in which we boldly proclaim who is "in" and who is "out." But what if we didn't strive for our arbitrarily chosen "right" and "wrong"? What if we got past that to an actual striving for holiness, for wholeness among God's creation, including other people? What if we got past the idea of achievement or failure and simply rested wholly on Christ? Where would our inhibitions lie then? Would we be pressed into competitiveness with our friends? Our church members? Our co-workers? Ourselves? Or would we then be free to follow Christ?
I can hear responses now: we already do this...do we really need to forget right and wrong...I do lean wholly on Christ...
But I don't believe it. I believe we are inhibited by our fears of not being in control, of being somehow cast aside by a society (and, yes, I do mean our church(es), too) that proclaims a "right" and "wrong" way and that encourages us to simply be "good" in our actions, while not challenging us to live a life wholly given to Christ. We should work our jobs and pay our taxes practice our apologetics and go to another Bible study...which is all nice, unless the call of Christ is something different. We can live well, drive the speed limit, cast our votes based on one issue, go to church every Sunday, give money to the food bank...which is all nice, unless the call of Christ is something different. We can serve on the church board, make a cake for fellowship, sweep differences under the rug (ignore instead of confront our own inadequacies and prejudices), mow our lawns, save monies for retirement...which is all nice, unless the call of Christ is something different. And we may teach that holiness is wholly leaning on Christ, that it is obedience, faithfulness, of giving up ourselves...but what does it matter if we teach this when we live as thought holiness is a scale of "rights and wrongs" that can be easily read and we can quickly grade ourselves or others accordingly. Yes, read your Bible and pray every day, just like I learned when I was young, is something that is good, but if it leads to nothing then it is just ridiculous, it is just wasted time. That scale of holiness of church, bible study, service...is nothing if we are not changed, if we do not find ourselves being drawn to being made complete in Christ, that we are wholly relying upon Him for all things, that we are giving up our tendencies toward safety and the boundaries that we place that ensure that we are going to continue to feel safe. That is NOT HOLINESS! When we rest on ourselves and our comforts, we make ourselves God, which, if I am not mistaken, was a problem that troubled Lucifer and Adam and people constructing the tower of Babel. Where has Noah gone? Where is craziness? Where is the complete reliance upon God? Where is our obedience? Has it gone the way of the co-opted church that functions so much as an operative of this world that it has forgotten that it is supposed to be loyal to Christ and not to the things of this world?
Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
Let your mind be renewed. This is not a discourse on sin as a singular action or mistake we make in our lives. This is not, as we often think, a call that we should not live in the way that we have dictated by the imposing of our own will and likes and dislikes of how we should live (rights and wrongs), but a call to be in constant evaluation of the world, society, as it is. This is not "don't do this, do this," but rather a call to be obedient, a call to listen to Christ and to act accordingly! Are we called to disconnected lives that are deconstructed to a list of right and wrong or lives that are wholly dependent upon Christ? If you are wholly dependent, you will build an ark, you will be crazy. Don't be conformed. Be transformed.
I enjoy weekends.
Saturday, November 3, 2007
catching up
So this week has been pretty good. I would have to say that it started off when our friends Josh and Becky came over to watch the kids last Saturday so Janine and I could get out and watch a movie. We had long been wanting to watch "Into the Wild" but really don't have the opportunity to just run out and do so like we used to. So on this occasion we were able to go. It was a really good movie, with amazing cinematography and an interesting commentary on the subject. I thought Sean Penn did a really good job with the film, and Emile Hursch did an amazing job as Chris McCandless. I would highly recommend watching the movie. It was also interesting to see my uncle Ken's name in the credits, and I heard that my cousin Travis' name was also involved, but I didn't see that. Travis did go to the premier in LA, though. Ahh, the life of a star...
On Monday we were able to get out and go to Wheeler Farm in the evening. We packed up the family, including our insane dog, and went over in the early evening for walking and hanging out. It was a great time, getting to see the kids get excited over the animals and to see them having fun just walking around and enjoying nature. Juancho had an "incident" with a bantam rooster there not too long ago. This rooster apparently got upset at Juancho and puffed himself up and went after Juan, pecking and intimidating. Andres suggested that Juan get in a tree where the "mean gallo" couldn't get him. This night, the suggestions were for Pakak to eat the mean gallo. We found it while walking around, but the bird retreated into a tree for the evening, so the boys were a little disappointed that Pakak did not feast on the bull bird of Wheeler Farm. It was a great night, though, very relaxing, very fun, and a nice time to get out of the house before winter comes in.
I took the next day off from work, trying to take advantage of Shirley's days off from school, and we decided to go to Antelope Island. We took the 45 minute drive to the stench covered State Park (there are dead brine shrimp that create quite an odor) and began our quest for wildlife. The boys are completely enamored with the idea of buffalo, partly because it is a magnificent beast, partly because of my tattoo (they always make the connection of Papi liking buffalo), and partly because they can stand next to the buffalo statue at the visitor's center. So we were able to spot about six buffalo right away, but that was about all we would see. We spent some time at the visitor's center and then drove to the ranch hoping to see more animals. We did see a coyote at the ranch, along with the usual ranch animals (chickens, horses), and Janine had a great spot of an owl sleeping in a tree. It was pretty cool (weather) there, so our snack time outside was somewhat limited by the chilly breeze. After a while on the ranch we decided it was time to start heading back. We were hungry for lunch and knew the boys needed to sleep. So we began our trek home, stopping at an IHOP for lunch. The kids all fell asleep on the way home, although they didn't stay asleep. The day was quite fun, and it was a wonderful break from our usual routines.
Right now we are awaiting the return/arrival of Brad, Traci, Joel and the new additions, twins Jason and Jessica. They have been in Indianapolis for the past 11 days in the process of adopting the twins. Things have gone well for them in their time there, as they have benefited from groups in the area who have helped them with meals and things. They got clearance yesterday to be able to return home to UT, so there is a chance they will come in today. We are excited and anxious to see them and to meet Jason and Jessica. Our kids love looking at the pictures that B&T have sent and will probably be doing backflips when they come home.
well, the kids are up and most likely getting hungry. I should probably go make pancakes before they riot. I hope all is well and that you all are enjoying the autumn days (my favorite).
Saturday, October 13, 2007
cream cheese on my toast
Still here, kids, not to worry.
It is funny how I have felt pretty stinkin' busy even though I have been working fewer hours. It has been a bittersweet thing, as the hours were cut down for budgetary purposes, but also in that, I am now working solo.
Good: I watch out for myself without having to "babysit" other people. I don't have to find work for other worker while I do computer updates, information bidding, and liaison duties.
Bad: I do it all by myself.
It has been okay, just busy. This past week was especially busy for some reason. It didn't help that there were three surprise tools to set and that one of them involved a completely different environment while another involved a missing control point. Trouble. I was slightly irritated. I am glad it is Saturday.
Today we had the Prayer Pal luncheon. I know it was a ton of work for Janine, but it was done really well and I believe that everyone involved had a lot of fun. My guy didn't show so I filled in with some other kids who were missing their prayer pal. All the groups had a good time playing games, enjoying food, and spending time getting to know one another. I know that Janine is glad that it is done, and I don't blame her, but it was a good time.
Kids Club itself has been great. We have had such a strong showing of leaders, which alleviates some of the duties. The kids have been great, too, with probably an average showing of 40-45 kids. They all love the new format of small groups, as do I. It has been fun to stay with the same kids throughout, and although I had some reservations about the first and second grade boys at first, I truly have enjoyed having them. They are fun every week.
Janine has also been planning a retreat for the leaders, which will take place during the second week of November. There is a ton of excitement in the air as the time draws near. All the leaders are excited, as are Janine and me. It should be a great time to get away and spend time hanging out with those people with whom we serve.
The kids have been doing well, too. They are growing up so quickly. It is funny to write that, as we have only had them for only 8 1/2 months now, but they all amaze me with their ability to learn and how quickly they have become acclimated to life here. The boys constantly are saying funny things and picking up new things to say. They charm everyone they meet, as does Shirley. They have all made such good friends here and are great at making everyone smile. I marvel at how wonderful a match we are for each other as we continue to learn and continue to grow together.
School seems to be good for Shirley. She is clearly settled in as we hear about her getting into trouble (not major trouble, just normal 9 year old mischief) from time to time. She has made several friends and is pretty diligent in doing her school work. Today she is out with Christie (her prayer pal) watching a football game. We bundled her up and got her ready for a cold day outside, but it has turned out pretty nice. I hope that she has fun with Christie, and we are happy that she has a prayer pal who likes to be involved like this with her.
My brother in law and his wife, Brad and Traci, are in the middle of pursuing an adoption. Things have moved amazingly quickly for them, and right now they are planning on adopting a set of boy/girl twins. They were contacted about 11 days ago regarding the twins and have been waiting for a green light to go get them. It seems that that time is coming close, so we are trying to help them prepare for this major event in their lives. It has all happened so quickly that it seems that we really have not had a whole lot of time to even think about the whole thing, and I am sure that their heads are just spinning taking it all in. There is still much to do, but we celebrate with them and hope to help them in big and small ways as they move in this direction.
Ugh. I am a part of the facebook.com phenomenon now. I guess that is where some of my time has been spent, as opposed to blogging, but hopefully I won't push this off fully. This is a much easier place to let my mind free.
Speaking of, I have really been wrestling with the functionality of the church lately. In particular, the vocation of pastor has been something that has been going under some scrutiny in my mind. I am beginning to wonder if the role of pastor as vocation as we know it is actually conducive to building a strong, outwardly focused church. I ask myself this thinking that because pastorship as vocation lends itself to a quick and easy "out" for those who might be tempted to say that they don't participate in certain activities because it is the "pastor's job." I don't believe that the pressures that pastors face are necessarily fair, either, as the burdens of a church body is something that should be taken on by all the members of the church. In such a manner, the church then begins to think of the "other" instead of the "self," which I believe to be more in line with what Christ teaches anyway. The vocation of pastor allows responsibility to be shunned, whether one agrees with that or not, it is very much the practiced folk-religion that underlies most churches. It propagates a level of comfort among the church in which they can relax, not bearing the burdens of the other, not considering the other, not carrying out the statement that "greater love hath no man than this, that he lay down his life for another." So the greatest part of the churches problems are taken on by the pastor, or maybe the elders and deacons, but for the most part not by the church itself. It is anti-communal in my mind, it is the opposite of what we learned as children, to love God with all our heart, soul and mind and to love others as ourselves. Instead we practice an opposite version of the gospel in which we love our own pursuits with all our heart, soul and mind and we love ourselves above others. We relegate our own responsibilities to an "other" who can either fix it for us or who can at least make me feel vindicated in my self-pity/self-love paradox in which we find ourselves. So how does the vocation of pastor fit into this? It fits in that we compartmentalize the sacred to those who are sacred (those who are "trained, called, gifted") and fail to challenge the profane (I choose to say as opposed to secular). So the compartmentalization adds to the dichotomy of Sunday morning vis'-a-vis' rest of the week. The conflict of worship as an act vs. worship as being. It compartmentalizes and draws up easy boundaries of "right" and "wrong" while ignoring the command to love one another. It compartmentalizes and belittles the work of the followers of Christ as not important enough for the actual church to do, but only for those who are trained/called/gifted. And when it all goes wrong...well, I didn't do it...it wasn't my responsibility. So turning away from such conventions we begin to actually allow others to be challenged to do the work of the church, the things that are so plainly laid out in the Bible, and holding each other accountable to do so. The accountability also means that we are responsible, not just to chastise, but to disciple and be discipled, and also demands humility and love...something that we could all use more in an outward focus. It does not, in my mind, take away from those who feel called in such a direction, but allows them to be a part of a church whose focus is more clearly based upon loving God and loving the "other" and in such a way that necessitates a move toward the model of a reproducing church. In a sense, the church of the non-vocational or bi-vocational pastor must look at itself as temporal, not just in a broad spectrum, but in smaller bits of time as well. An outwardly focused church must realize that it will not stay in one place with the same people, necessarily, but will prone to reproduction, re-evaluation, re-structuring as it is moved by the Spirit. The non-vocational/bi-vocational aspect allows for this to happen in that a church is not itself tied to a building or bound by as many monetary needs and is therefore able to be a little more transient in nature. Now I know of warnings that may come, the questions of how a church becomes part of a people or a community in light of this, but I believe that it is altogether possible and probable that any church that focuses on the "other" will find itself in the heart of a community regardless of physical building or a pastor by vocation. Of course it calls for logistics to be worked out, and it calls for some amount of living within a closer proximity, but these questions and issues need to be worked out by individual churches.
So the non/bi-vocational pastorship opens up a world of opportunities, for the church to be challenged, for the the church to deepen its spirituality, its dependence upon God, its ability to be a reproductive church, and to function as a true light in a community, not just a Sunday stop off for do-gooders. Certainly there are things that I have not thought of, but these are just some of the things that have crossed my mind as I work by myself these days.
Iron & Wine will be here in December. I should go.
The Flyers are 2-1. Much better than last year. They can actually put the puck in the net, which is amazing.
The more I think about it, the more I believe that no one should ever buy a product marketed to them using a bee.
I once mistakenly put Philadelphia Cream Cheese on my toast thinking it was butter (I was eight). It was so disgusting that I have yet to ever eat cream cheese again.
I have a guitar for sale; anyone passing through UT who wants to get rid of $325 for a good guitar, a hard shell locking case, and a tuner should let me know.
I love autumn.
And cheese steaks.
It is funny how I have felt pretty stinkin' busy even though I have been working fewer hours. It has been a bittersweet thing, as the hours were cut down for budgetary purposes, but also in that, I am now working solo.
Good: I watch out for myself without having to "babysit" other people. I don't have to find work for other worker while I do computer updates, information bidding, and liaison duties.
Bad: I do it all by myself.
It has been okay, just busy. This past week was especially busy for some reason. It didn't help that there were three surprise tools to set and that one of them involved a completely different environment while another involved a missing control point. Trouble. I was slightly irritated. I am glad it is Saturday.
Today we had the Prayer Pal luncheon. I know it was a ton of work for Janine, but it was done really well and I believe that everyone involved had a lot of fun. My guy didn't show so I filled in with some other kids who were missing their prayer pal. All the groups had a good time playing games, enjoying food, and spending time getting to know one another. I know that Janine is glad that it is done, and I don't blame her, but it was a good time.
Kids Club itself has been great. We have had such a strong showing of leaders, which alleviates some of the duties. The kids have been great, too, with probably an average showing of 40-45 kids. They all love the new format of small groups, as do I. It has been fun to stay with the same kids throughout, and although I had some reservations about the first and second grade boys at first, I truly have enjoyed having them. They are fun every week.
Janine has also been planning a retreat for the leaders, which will take place during the second week of November. There is a ton of excitement in the air as the time draws near. All the leaders are excited, as are Janine and me. It should be a great time to get away and spend time hanging out with those people with whom we serve.
The kids have been doing well, too. They are growing up so quickly. It is funny to write that, as we have only had them for only 8 1/2 months now, but they all amaze me with their ability to learn and how quickly they have become acclimated to life here. The boys constantly are saying funny things and picking up new things to say. They charm everyone they meet, as does Shirley. They have all made such good friends here and are great at making everyone smile. I marvel at how wonderful a match we are for each other as we continue to learn and continue to grow together.
School seems to be good for Shirley. She is clearly settled in as we hear about her getting into trouble (not major trouble, just normal 9 year old mischief) from time to time. She has made several friends and is pretty diligent in doing her school work. Today she is out with Christie (her prayer pal) watching a football game. We bundled her up and got her ready for a cold day outside, but it has turned out pretty nice. I hope that she has fun with Christie, and we are happy that she has a prayer pal who likes to be involved like this with her.
My brother in law and his wife, Brad and Traci, are in the middle of pursuing an adoption. Things have moved amazingly quickly for them, and right now they are planning on adopting a set of boy/girl twins. They were contacted about 11 days ago regarding the twins and have been waiting for a green light to go get them. It seems that that time is coming close, so we are trying to help them prepare for this major event in their lives. It has all happened so quickly that it seems that we really have not had a whole lot of time to even think about the whole thing, and I am sure that their heads are just spinning taking it all in. There is still much to do, but we celebrate with them and hope to help them in big and small ways as they move in this direction.
Ugh. I am a part of the facebook.com phenomenon now. I guess that is where some of my time has been spent, as opposed to blogging, but hopefully I won't push this off fully. This is a much easier place to let my mind free.
Speaking of, I have really been wrestling with the functionality of the church lately. In particular, the vocation of pastor has been something that has been going under some scrutiny in my mind. I am beginning to wonder if the role of pastor as vocation as we know it is actually conducive to building a strong, outwardly focused church. I ask myself this thinking that because pastorship as vocation lends itself to a quick and easy "out" for those who might be tempted to say that they don't participate in certain activities because it is the "pastor's job." I don't believe that the pressures that pastors face are necessarily fair, either, as the burdens of a church body is something that should be taken on by all the members of the church. In such a manner, the church then begins to think of the "other" instead of the "self," which I believe to be more in line with what Christ teaches anyway. The vocation of pastor allows responsibility to be shunned, whether one agrees with that or not, it is very much the practiced folk-religion that underlies most churches. It propagates a level of comfort among the church in which they can relax, not bearing the burdens of the other, not considering the other, not carrying out the statement that "greater love hath no man than this, that he lay down his life for another." So the greatest part of the churches problems are taken on by the pastor, or maybe the elders and deacons, but for the most part not by the church itself. It is anti-communal in my mind, it is the opposite of what we learned as children, to love God with all our heart, soul and mind and to love others as ourselves. Instead we practice an opposite version of the gospel in which we love our own pursuits with all our heart, soul and mind and we love ourselves above others. We relegate our own responsibilities to an "other" who can either fix it for us or who can at least make me feel vindicated in my self-pity/self-love paradox in which we find ourselves. So how does the vocation of pastor fit into this? It fits in that we compartmentalize the sacred to those who are sacred (those who are "trained, called, gifted") and fail to challenge the profane (I choose to say as opposed to secular). So the compartmentalization adds to the dichotomy of Sunday morning vis'-a-vis' rest of the week. The conflict of worship as an act vs. worship as being. It compartmentalizes and draws up easy boundaries of "right" and "wrong" while ignoring the command to love one another. It compartmentalizes and belittles the work of the followers of Christ as not important enough for the actual church to do, but only for those who are trained/called/gifted. And when it all goes wrong...well, I didn't do it...it wasn't my responsibility. So turning away from such conventions we begin to actually allow others to be challenged to do the work of the church, the things that are so plainly laid out in the Bible, and holding each other accountable to do so. The accountability also means that we are responsible, not just to chastise, but to disciple and be discipled, and also demands humility and love...something that we could all use more in an outward focus. It does not, in my mind, take away from those who feel called in such a direction, but allows them to be a part of a church whose focus is more clearly based upon loving God and loving the "other" and in such a way that necessitates a move toward the model of a reproducing church. In a sense, the church of the non-vocational or bi-vocational pastor must look at itself as temporal, not just in a broad spectrum, but in smaller bits of time as well. An outwardly focused church must realize that it will not stay in one place with the same people, necessarily, but will prone to reproduction, re-evaluation, re-structuring as it is moved by the Spirit. The non-vocational/bi-vocational aspect allows for this to happen in that a church is not itself tied to a building or bound by as many monetary needs and is therefore able to be a little more transient in nature. Now I know of warnings that may come, the questions of how a church becomes part of a people or a community in light of this, but I believe that it is altogether possible and probable that any church that focuses on the "other" will find itself in the heart of a community regardless of physical building or a pastor by vocation. Of course it calls for logistics to be worked out, and it calls for some amount of living within a closer proximity, but these questions and issues need to be worked out by individual churches.
So the non/bi-vocational pastorship opens up a world of opportunities, for the church to be challenged, for the the church to deepen its spirituality, its dependence upon God, its ability to be a reproductive church, and to function as a true light in a community, not just a Sunday stop off for do-gooders. Certainly there are things that I have not thought of, but these are just some of the things that have crossed my mind as I work by myself these days.
Iron & Wine will be here in December. I should go.
The Flyers are 2-1. Much better than last year. They can actually put the puck in the net, which is amazing.
The more I think about it, the more I believe that no one should ever buy a product marketed to them using a bee.
I once mistakenly put Philadelphia Cream Cheese on my toast thinking it was butter (I was eight). It was so disgusting that I have yet to ever eat cream cheese again.
I have a guitar for sale; anyone passing through UT who wants to get rid of $325 for a good guitar, a hard shell locking case, and a tuner should let me know.
I love autumn.
And cheese steaks.
Thursday, September 20, 2007
lame stories from some lame guy in a storage unit in downtown SLC
I apologize to my loyal readers for my lack of posts lately. I would say that I have been busy, which I have, but I actually have been working less lately. Not too long ago the company that has contracted us to work decided it was time to start looking at saving money on the 2.2+ billion dollar project, and one of the ways in which they can do that is by limiting our hours. I did not argue one bit when I was told by my tool supervisor. It has been so nice to have a little extra time these days. It has amounted to about two hours more per day with my family, which has been extremely nice. I catch some crap from some of my other co-workers who are now working 55+ hours, but I remind them nicely that when they were getting 35-40 in December-February, I was getting 65 or so. It is my time to rest. And I am thankful.
So the time at home has been great. The kids never cease to amaze me in their antics, actions, and in how much they have grown (in numerous ways) since we have had them. Janine often tells me of the boys interacting with each other, but today I watched them eating breakfast and just was amazed at the way that they talked to each other and interacted with a Diego video that happened to be on. It was quite hilarious, to be sure. They are all great kids. I was able to go to the library with the boys today, which was pretty fun. They are so much more independent than they were even just a couple of months ago. They look around at the books and videos and play with the toys in the kids area with hardly any notice of me as I collect the books and videos for the week. Juan, especially, walks around like he is a little man. Not just any man, but the one who owns whatever building we happen to be in. Little man. I think that they like talking about the prospect of going somewhere as much as actually going, too. They are like running commentators of everything that happens during a day. If I could broadcast it, you would all know exactly what was happening at any given moment of the day because they are always talking about it. Well, as long as people can understand their Spanglish.
Shirley has been an incredible help around the house, too. She seems to relish in the responsibilities we give her, and has really taken to doing dishes. She has such a helpful attitude in so many ways...it is refreshing. Even tonight she volunteered to read to the boys, which freed us up to watch The Office. She has been enjoying school as well. She was telling me today that she thinks that she has five friends, and then she proceeded to list them all. She is always cracking us up. She was messing around with the portable dvd player, executing anything she wanted to do with ease, so I told her she was smart. "I know," was her response. And she is very smart and very funny. I like to brag about our kids.
So I am irritated with the O.J. nonsense. At work there is a break room that we frequent when we are waiting for particular tools to be ready for us to work on, so we had major downtime the other day. Well, in this break room are three big, flat-screen tvs that are always blaring Fox News. Okay, right away it is not my favorite news channel, but I have disdain for all news channels anyway, so it wouldn't matter if it was msnbc or cnn either. Anyway, this particular day, for three hours straight, they had news on O.J. I am revolted. He is celebrity, and that is the only reason why his ridiculous life is even news. Apparently it sells, though, as I look at the people who stare at the tvs for their whole break or lunch. They watch looped news (sort of news, anyway) as if their very lives hang on the balance. I am disgusted. Can we hear something real? I know that no corporate news channel is going to put on any real news, but do we have to listen to ridiculous lawyers on retainer with Fox News tell us about the implications of O.J.s actions? AND THE PEOPLE WATCH IT. THEY LOVE IT. THEY ARE ADDICTED TO CELEBRITY. Look at the tag lines on your email when you sign out; what does it say? Who is on it? Celebrity. It sells. People want a vicarious life or a voyeuristic life or a life at all, so they hang on the threads of celebrity. I despise it. I want real life. Not celebrity. Not reality tv (could there ever be more of a misnomer?). I want original thought, original opinion, not to be told what is newsworthy by some corporate goon who knows that the general public is full of idiots who believe that O.J. Simpson is news. Get out of my face.
NHL preseason started. I am excited, to say the least. I have hope for the Flyers after their busy summer. The thought has crossed my mind many times to travel across the continent just to watch some Flyers games this year, but I am not sure how much of a reality that thought is. I have been checking into their game in Denver this year, as that might be more of a possibility, but we'll have to wait and see. What I do know is that I really miss watching the sport, and again the corporate goons tell us that we don't want to watch it, so it gets stuck on some half-baked sports/outdoor cable station that I don't get. Makes me want to drop the gloves. Go Flyers.
Sixplex. The idea lives. Inquire within. Communal living. There has to be a better way than the way it is done. We need to find ways to make less of an impact, to live in a way that we feel God calling us to live. I know that the comfortable regular lifestyle is not it. I admit, I love the perks: computers, digital recorders, driving places. But there has to be ways to do that stuff and be less of a nuisance to the planet. There has to be a way to tell the world that this stuff, really, means nothing. So we continue to search for the best way to say it. So communal living still lingers, hanging on, surprising us by being a topic of conversation and a thought of specific direction that seems to be an underlying prompt to us since the discussion first began two years ago. How long do some ideas hang on before they fall to the wayside? If this has not fallen away yet, is it just an idea? What is God calling us to do? We wrestle all the time. But we know that we do not feel comfortable just being status quo, just going along as if our actions have no repercussions elsewhere that we cannot see, that we cannot touch. I am challenged every day by my conscience, by the Holy Spirit, and I know that it might not be conventional, the direction that we go, that we lean, and we might be called crazy or idealists, but why not? Who's to say that we shouldn't live alternate lifestyles? Who's to tell us that we are wrong? I am not Noah, but I know that people laughed and mocked him...
I am going to go eat cereal now.
Damien Jurado. Saw him for the fourth time recently. That guy is amazing. I recommend anyone who reads this to get an album. Check out his music online. I told him a story that my sister Jo told me about seeing him in Portland. He just looked at me like I was an idiot. I'm sure that he wants to hear lame stories from some lame guy in a storage unit in downtown SLC. I know that's why he comes here. I am such a nerd.
I am really going to go eat cereal now.
So the time at home has been great. The kids never cease to amaze me in their antics, actions, and in how much they have grown (in numerous ways) since we have had them. Janine often tells me of the boys interacting with each other, but today I watched them eating breakfast and just was amazed at the way that they talked to each other and interacted with a Diego video that happened to be on. It was quite hilarious, to be sure. They are all great kids. I was able to go to the library with the boys today, which was pretty fun. They are so much more independent than they were even just a couple of months ago. They look around at the books and videos and play with the toys in the kids area with hardly any notice of me as I collect the books and videos for the week. Juan, especially, walks around like he is a little man. Not just any man, but the one who owns whatever building we happen to be in. Little man. I think that they like talking about the prospect of going somewhere as much as actually going, too. They are like running commentators of everything that happens during a day. If I could broadcast it, you would all know exactly what was happening at any given moment of the day because they are always talking about it. Well, as long as people can understand their Spanglish.
Shirley has been an incredible help around the house, too. She seems to relish in the responsibilities we give her, and has really taken to doing dishes. She has such a helpful attitude in so many ways...it is refreshing. Even tonight she volunteered to read to the boys, which freed us up to watch The Office. She has been enjoying school as well. She was telling me today that she thinks that she has five friends, and then she proceeded to list them all. She is always cracking us up. She was messing around with the portable dvd player, executing anything she wanted to do with ease, so I told her she was smart. "I know," was her response. And she is very smart and very funny. I like to brag about our kids.
So I am irritated with the O.J. nonsense. At work there is a break room that we frequent when we are waiting for particular tools to be ready for us to work on, so we had major downtime the other day. Well, in this break room are three big, flat-screen tvs that are always blaring Fox News. Okay, right away it is not my favorite news channel, but I have disdain for all news channels anyway, so it wouldn't matter if it was msnbc or cnn either. Anyway, this particular day, for three hours straight, they had news on O.J. I am revolted. He is celebrity, and that is the only reason why his ridiculous life is even news. Apparently it sells, though, as I look at the people who stare at the tvs for their whole break or lunch. They watch looped news (sort of news, anyway) as if their very lives hang on the balance. I am disgusted. Can we hear something real? I know that no corporate news channel is going to put on any real news, but do we have to listen to ridiculous lawyers on retainer with Fox News tell us about the implications of O.J.s actions? AND THE PEOPLE WATCH IT. THEY LOVE IT. THEY ARE ADDICTED TO CELEBRITY. Look at the tag lines on your email when you sign out; what does it say? Who is on it? Celebrity. It sells. People want a vicarious life or a voyeuristic life or a life at all, so they hang on the threads of celebrity. I despise it. I want real life. Not celebrity. Not reality tv (could there ever be more of a misnomer?). I want original thought, original opinion, not to be told what is newsworthy by some corporate goon who knows that the general public is full of idiots who believe that O.J. Simpson is news. Get out of my face.
NHL preseason started. I am excited, to say the least. I have hope for the Flyers after their busy summer. The thought has crossed my mind many times to travel across the continent just to watch some Flyers games this year, but I am not sure how much of a reality that thought is. I have been checking into their game in Denver this year, as that might be more of a possibility, but we'll have to wait and see. What I do know is that I really miss watching the sport, and again the corporate goons tell us that we don't want to watch it, so it gets stuck on some half-baked sports/outdoor cable station that I don't get. Makes me want to drop the gloves. Go Flyers.
Sixplex. The idea lives. Inquire within. Communal living. There has to be a better way than the way it is done. We need to find ways to make less of an impact, to live in a way that we feel God calling us to live. I know that the comfortable regular lifestyle is not it. I admit, I love the perks: computers, digital recorders, driving places. But there has to be ways to do that stuff and be less of a nuisance to the planet. There has to be a way to tell the world that this stuff, really, means nothing. So we continue to search for the best way to say it. So communal living still lingers, hanging on, surprising us by being a topic of conversation and a thought of specific direction that seems to be an underlying prompt to us since the discussion first began two years ago. How long do some ideas hang on before they fall to the wayside? If this has not fallen away yet, is it just an idea? What is God calling us to do? We wrestle all the time. But we know that we do not feel comfortable just being status quo, just going along as if our actions have no repercussions elsewhere that we cannot see, that we cannot touch. I am challenged every day by my conscience, by the Holy Spirit, and I know that it might not be conventional, the direction that we go, that we lean, and we might be called crazy or idealists, but why not? Who's to say that we shouldn't live alternate lifestyles? Who's to tell us that we are wrong? I am not Noah, but I know that people laughed and mocked him...
I am going to go eat cereal now.
Damien Jurado. Saw him for the fourth time recently. That guy is amazing. I recommend anyone who reads this to get an album. Check out his music online. I told him a story that my sister Jo told me about seeing him in Portland. He just looked at me like I was an idiot. I'm sure that he wants to hear lame stories from some lame guy in a storage unit in downtown SLC. I know that's why he comes here. I am such a nerd.
I am really going to go eat cereal now.
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