cream cheese on my toast

Still here, kids, not to worry.

It is funny how I have felt pretty stinkin' busy even though I have been working fewer hours. It has been a bittersweet thing, as the hours were cut down for budgetary purposes, but also in that, I am now working solo.
Good: I watch out for myself without having to "babysit" other people. I don't have to find work for other worker while I do computer updates, information bidding, and liaison duties.
Bad: I do it all by myself.
It has been okay, just busy. This past week was especially busy for some reason. It didn't help that there were three surprise tools to set and that one of them involved a completely different environment while another involved a missing control point. Trouble. I was slightly irritated. I am glad it is Saturday.

Today we had the Prayer Pal luncheon. I know it was a ton of work for Janine, but it was done really well and I believe that everyone involved had a lot of fun. My guy didn't show so I filled in with some other kids who were missing their prayer pal. All the groups had a good time playing games, enjoying food, and spending time getting to know one another. I know that Janine is glad that it is done, and I don't blame her, but it was a good time.
Kids Club itself has been great. We have had such a strong showing of leaders, which alleviates some of the duties. The kids have been great, too, with probably an average showing of 40-45 kids. They all love the new format of small groups, as do I. It has been fun to stay with the same kids throughout, and although I had some reservations about the first and second grade boys at first, I truly have enjoyed having them. They are fun every week.
Janine has also been planning a retreat for the leaders, which will take place during the second week of November. There is a ton of excitement in the air as the time draws near. All the leaders are excited, as are Janine and me. It should be a great time to get away and spend time hanging out with those people with whom we serve.

The kids have been doing well, too. They are growing up so quickly. It is funny to write that, as we have only had them for only 8 1/2 months now, but they all amaze me with their ability to learn and how quickly they have become acclimated to life here. The boys constantly are saying funny things and picking up new things to say. They charm everyone they meet, as does Shirley. They have all made such good friends here and are great at making everyone smile. I marvel at how wonderful a match we are for each other as we continue to learn and continue to grow together.

School seems to be good for Shirley. She is clearly settled in as we hear about her getting into trouble (not major trouble, just normal 9 year old mischief) from time to time. She has made several friends and is pretty diligent in doing her school work. Today she is out with Christie (her prayer pal) watching a football game. We bundled her up and got her ready for a cold day outside, but it has turned out pretty nice. I hope that she has fun with Christie, and we are happy that she has a prayer pal who likes to be involved like this with her.

My brother in law and his wife, Brad and Traci, are in the middle of pursuing an adoption. Things have moved amazingly quickly for them, and right now they are planning on adopting a set of boy/girl twins. They were contacted about 11 days ago regarding the twins and have been waiting for a green light to go get them. It seems that that time is coming close, so we are trying to help them prepare for this major event in their lives. It has all happened so quickly that it seems that we really have not had a whole lot of time to even think about the whole thing, and I am sure that their heads are just spinning taking it all in. There is still much to do, but we celebrate with them and hope to help them in big and small ways as they move in this direction.

Ugh. I am a part of the facebook.com phenomenon now. I guess that is where some of my time has been spent, as opposed to blogging, but hopefully I won't push this off fully. This is a much easier place to let my mind free.

Speaking of, I have really been wrestling with the functionality of the church lately. In particular, the vocation of pastor has been something that has been going under some scrutiny in my mind. I am beginning to wonder if the role of pastor as vocation as we know it is actually conducive to building a strong, outwardly focused church. I ask myself this thinking that because pastorship as vocation lends itself to a quick and easy "out" for those who might be tempted to say that they don't participate in certain activities because it is the "pastor's job." I don't believe that the pressures that pastors face are necessarily fair, either, as the burdens of a church body is something that should be taken on by all the members of the church. In such a manner, the church then begins to think of the "other" instead of the "self," which I believe to be more in line with what Christ teaches anyway. The vocation of pastor allows responsibility to be shunned, whether one agrees with that or not, it is very much the practiced folk-religion that underlies most churches. It propagates a level of comfort among the church in which they can relax, not bearing the burdens of the other, not considering the other, not carrying out the statement that "greater love hath no man than this, that he lay down his life for another." So the greatest part of the churches problems are taken on by the pastor, or maybe the elders and deacons, but for the most part not by the church itself. It is anti-communal in my mind, it is the opposite of what we learned as children, to love God with all our heart, soul and mind and to love others as ourselves. Instead we practice an opposite version of the gospel in which we love our own pursuits with all our heart, soul and mind and we love ourselves above others. We relegate our own responsibilities to an "other" who can either fix it for us or who can at least make me feel vindicated in my self-pity/self-love paradox in which we find ourselves. So how does the vocation of pastor fit into this? It fits in that we compartmentalize the sacred to those who are sacred (those who are "trained, called, gifted") and fail to challenge the profane (I choose to say as opposed to secular). So the compartmentalization adds to the dichotomy of Sunday morning vis'-a-vis' rest of the week. The conflict of worship as an act vs. worship as being. It compartmentalizes and draws up easy boundaries of "right" and "wrong" while ignoring the command to love one another. It compartmentalizes and belittles the work of the followers of Christ as not important enough for the actual church to do, but only for those who are trained/called/gifted. And when it all goes wrong...well, I didn't do it...it wasn't my responsibility. So turning away from such conventions we begin to actually allow others to be challenged to do the work of the church, the things that are so plainly laid out in the Bible, and holding each other accountable to do so. The accountability also means that we are responsible, not just to chastise, but to disciple and be discipled, and also demands humility and love...something that we could all use more in an outward focus. It does not, in my mind, take away from those who feel called in such a direction, but allows them to be a part of a church whose focus is more clearly based upon loving God and loving the "other" and in such a way that necessitates a move toward the model of a reproducing church. In a sense, the church of the non-vocational or bi-vocational pastor must look at itself as temporal, not just in a broad spectrum, but in smaller bits of time as well. An outwardly focused church must realize that it will not stay in one place with the same people, necessarily, but will prone to reproduction, re-evaluation, re-structuring as it is moved by the Spirit. The non-vocational/bi-vocational aspect allows for this to happen in that a church is not itself tied to a building or bound by as many monetary needs and is therefore able to be a little more transient in nature. Now I know of warnings that may come, the questions of how a church becomes part of a people or a community in light of this, but I believe that it is altogether possible and probable that any church that focuses on the "other" will find itself in the heart of a community regardless of physical building or a pastor by vocation. Of course it calls for logistics to be worked out, and it calls for some amount of living within a closer proximity, but these questions and issues need to be worked out by individual churches.
So the non/bi-vocational pastorship opens up a world of opportunities, for the church to be challenged, for the the church to deepen its spirituality, its dependence upon God, its ability to be a reproductive church, and to function as a true light in a community, not just a Sunday stop off for do-gooders. Certainly there are things that I have not thought of, but these are just some of the things that have crossed my mind as I work by myself these days.

Iron & Wine will be here in December. I should go.

The Flyers are 2-1. Much better than last year. They can actually put the puck in the net, which is amazing.

The more I think about it, the more I believe that no one should ever buy a product marketed to them using a bee.

I once mistakenly put Philadelphia Cream Cheese on my toast thinking it was butter (I was eight). It was so disgusting that I have yet to ever eat cream cheese again.

I have a guitar for sale; anyone passing through UT who wants to get rid of $325 for a good guitar, a hard shell locking case, and a tuner should let me know.

I love autumn.

And cheese steaks.

lame stories from some lame guy in a storage unit in downtown SLC

I apologize to my loyal readers for my lack of posts lately. I would say that I have been busy, which I have, but I actually have been working less lately. Not too long ago the company that has contracted us to work decided it was time to start looking at saving money on the 2.2+ billion dollar project, and one of the ways in which they can do that is by limiting our hours. I did not argue one bit when I was told by my tool supervisor. It has been so nice to have a little extra time these days. It has amounted to about two hours more per day with my family, which has been extremely nice. I catch some crap from some of my other co-workers who are now working 55+ hours, but I remind them nicely that when they were getting 35-40 in December-February, I was getting 65 or so. It is my time to rest. And I am thankful.

So the time at home has been great. The kids never cease to amaze me in their antics, actions, and in how much they have grown (in numerous ways) since we have had them. Janine often tells me of the boys interacting with each other, but today I watched them eating breakfast and just was amazed at the way that they talked to each other and interacted with a Diego video that happened to be on. It was quite hilarious, to be sure. They are all great kids. I was able to go to the library with the boys today, which was pretty fun. They are so much more independent than they were even just a couple of months ago. They look around at the books and videos and play with the toys in the kids area with hardly any notice of me as I collect the books and videos for the week. Juan, especially, walks around like he is a little man. Not just any man, but the one who owns whatever building we happen to be in. Little man. I think that they like talking about the prospect of going somewhere as much as actually going, too. They are like running commentators of everything that happens during a day. If I could broadcast it, you would all know exactly what was happening at any given moment of the day because they are always talking about it. Well, as long as people can understand their Spanglish.

Shirley has been an incredible help around the house, too. She seems to relish in the responsibilities we give her, and has really taken to doing dishes. She has such a helpful attitude in so many ways...it is refreshing. Even tonight she volunteered to read to the boys, which freed us up to watch The Office. She has been enjoying school as well. She was telling me today that she thinks that she has five friends, and then she proceeded to list them all. She is always cracking us up. She was messing around with the portable dvd player, executing anything she wanted to do with ease, so I told her she was smart. "I know," was her response. And she is very smart and very funny. I like to brag about our kids.

So I am irritated with the O.J. nonsense. At work there is a break room that we frequent when we are waiting for particular tools to be ready for us to work on, so we had major downtime the other day. Well, in this break room are three big, flat-screen tvs that are always blaring Fox News. Okay, right away it is not my favorite news channel, but I have disdain for all news channels anyway, so it wouldn't matter if it was msnbc or cnn either. Anyway, this particular day, for three hours straight, they had news on O.J. I am revolted. He is celebrity, and that is the only reason why his ridiculous life is even news. Apparently it sells, though, as I look at the people who stare at the tvs for their whole break or lunch. They watch looped news (sort of news, anyway) as if their very lives hang on the balance. I am disgusted. Can we hear something real? I know that no corporate news channel is going to put on any real news, but do we have to listen to ridiculous lawyers on retainer with Fox News tell us about the implications of O.J.s actions? AND THE PEOPLE WATCH IT. THEY LOVE IT. THEY ARE ADDICTED TO CELEBRITY. Look at the tag lines on your email when you sign out; what does it say? Who is on it? Celebrity. It sells. People want a vicarious life or a voyeuristic life or a life at all, so they hang on the threads of celebrity. I despise it. I want real life. Not celebrity. Not reality tv (could there ever be more of a misnomer?). I want original thought, original opinion, not to be told what is newsworthy by some corporate goon who knows that the general public is full of idiots who believe that O.J. Simpson is news. Get out of my face.

NHL preseason started. I am excited, to say the least. I have hope for the Flyers after their busy summer. The thought has crossed my mind many times to travel across the continent just to watch some Flyers games this year, but I am not sure how much of a reality that thought is. I have been checking into their game in Denver this year, as that might be more of a possibility, but we'll have to wait and see. What I do know is that I really miss watching the sport, and again the corporate goons tell us that we don't want to watch it, so it gets stuck on some half-baked sports/outdoor cable station that I don't get. Makes me want to drop the gloves. Go Flyers.

Sixplex. The idea lives. Inquire within. Communal living. There has to be a better way than the way it is done. We need to find ways to make less of an impact, to live in a way that we feel God calling us to live. I know that the comfortable regular lifestyle is not it. I admit, I love the perks: computers, digital recorders, driving places. But there has to be ways to do that stuff and be less of a nuisance to the planet. There has to be a way to tell the world that this stuff, really, means nothing. So we continue to search for the best way to say it. So communal living still lingers, hanging on, surprising us by being a topic of conversation and a thought of specific direction that seems to be an underlying prompt to us since the discussion first began two years ago. How long do some ideas hang on before they fall to the wayside? If this has not fallen away yet, is it just an idea? What is God calling us to do? We wrestle all the time. But we know that we do not feel comfortable just being status quo, just going along as if our actions have no repercussions elsewhere that we cannot see, that we cannot touch. I am challenged every day by my conscience, by the Holy Spirit, and I know that it might not be conventional, the direction that we go, that we lean, and we might be called crazy or idealists, but why not? Who's to say that we shouldn't live alternate lifestyles? Who's to tell us that we are wrong? I am not Noah, but I know that people laughed and mocked him...

I am going to go eat cereal now.

Damien Jurado. Saw him for the fourth time recently. That guy is amazing. I recommend anyone who reads this to get an album. Check out his music online. I told him a story that my sister Jo told me about seeing him in Portland. He just looked at me like I was an idiot. I'm sure that he wants to hear lame stories from some lame guy in a storage unit in downtown SLC. I know that's why he comes here. I am such a nerd.

I am really going to go eat cereal now.

buying tents

So tonight was the first Kids Club of the year. I have to say that it went very well. We had 55 kids who showed up, and could have had more had we let in the five or so latecomers (they need to get there before 7 or else they would just show up whenever). It was a lot of fun to see all the kids brimming with excitement as they stood outside the door. Janine had installed a new format for running it, and I thought it was a great success. We were able to break up into small groups and spend time with the kids asking questions in their respective age categories. It was a lot of fun. I was with the 1-2 grades, which wouldn't have been my first choice, but I really enjoyed spending time with them. So much so that I signed up for the same group next week. It is just so nice to get back into the swing of things with Kids Club and with our small group meetings (which will start this Friday). I am often times frustrated by church and church related things, but when I see the kids who are just thirsting for attention and who are so excited to spend time at Kids Club, I am always refreshed. It was a good night. Thanks to Traci for watching the boys so I could go.

I ran the other day. Not to the fridge. Not to my favorite chair. No, I ran on the Jordan Parkway with my buddy Josh. I am realizing that if I don't put some sort of exercise into my life now, it will be very likely that I never will. So I told him that I would be interested in running with him when he goes out (he runs the SLC half-marathon every year). We started with the goal of a short distance of 2-3 miles...which is not my idea of a short distance. Short distance to me is more like the 50 yard dash that I ran in third grade...quick and to the point. His idea: 2-3 miles. So we ran. And ran. And ran. He let me set the pace, in his gracious nature, and I have no idea how to set a pace so I ran too fast. And became tired quickly. So we walked some and ran some more. It seemed very warm out, older folks were speeding by me, kids on tricycles, crawling babies, snails...everything. But in the end I ran about 3 miles and walked one. Josh's memory of the mile markers (they are different in every "city" that we enter and we were actually in two different cities) was a little off, so we ran a little more than he anticipated. It was good, though, even though I paid for it for the last day and a half; I was pretty sore. I will go again, but was "rescued" this week by my boss "needing" me to work. But I ran.

Work continues to roll along with me staying at the same place that I have been for the last 17 months. I am not complaining at all, though, as I continue to enjoy my time down there. It has been busier in the last couple of weeks, which has been very nice. There was some talk of us leaving at the end of August, but the end of August came and went and we remain there, biding our time, enjoying the autonomy that this job has offered. I certainly would love to stay in some aspect down there, but I am not sure how realistic that option is right now. We'll see what happens.

As Janine noted in her blog, we feel like we are settling in more and more as a family. I have truly felt recently that we have been able to hang out with people like we did pre-adoption again. I am not really sure how it has all worked out, if it is just my perception, or if it is a natural progression and adjustment that we have gone through, but it has just been very nice to hang out with people again as much as we have. Brad, Traci, Janine and I used to do so much together, and we did after Joel was born and when we came home from Colombia with our three kids, but recently we seem to have found our groove again, and some of that is very much attributed to the kids being able to play with each other, to go off to basements and monkey around while the 30 somethings discuss all sorts of things. As Kids Club has been refreshing, so has this, what I see as rejuvenated, hanging out time.

The Ducks won. So did Penn State. Other than that, I chuckle that Michigan lost and hope that all Utah teams lose this upcoming week. NFL starts this week, and like Jimmy cracking corn, I don't care.

There are times that I get really frustrated with lifestyle choices, that I think that our form of Christianity is so intertwined with western culture, with the idea of capitalism, consumerism, that I feel like the only true answer to it is to rebel against it. But in what form does this rebellion really make itself manifest? It is a question that we wrestle with daily, in all the choices we make, and it is not easy. I am often a romantic in my ideals, dreaming big of things that we could do, ways in which we could live that would be counter to the things that we feel are damaging to humanity and to the natural world, which in turn we feel that God is entrusting to the very humanity that pillages itself and the natural world. So we dream of alternate living. Some sort of off-the-grid thing. I still think about it a lot, think about in what ways we could live the life that we feel we are supposed to live, how to make that transition, where it will be, what it will look like. I am often confused and always tempted to just stay in comfort, to get cable and just watch sports or music, to ignore God's call to live in a certain way. It would be so much easier, but I just can't shake the feeling that we are supposed to somehow be different. To look different. To live differently. In that case, I guess this blog might just end abruptly someday when we move into our canvas tent...

...maybe I should go buy that tent...

THE FIBA CHAMPIONSHIPS ARE ON TOO LATE

I really can't believe that the end of August is coming. That it is here, really. We had our six month social worker meeting last Sunday, and to think that it had been that long already really blew me away. It was crazy to reflect on where we were three months ago, too, as the evolution of la familia Shinn is difficult to see while it is happening, but when we hear from someone who has only visited a couple of time, we realize just how much we have grown as a family. It is really very amazing. It was also good to reflect on how much joy the kids bring us. It's not as if we don't realize it during the mundane, day to day living, but it is so much more clear and much bigger when I take a step back and look at it all. The meeting went well, as our social worker was pleased with how things are going. All the post-adoption stuff seems to now be falling into place a little bit, which is nice. I am just so glad that Janine is so organized and on top of it all. I know that if I were in charge I would be floundering.

So tonight we ate dinner at our friend Josh's house. He invited us over and cooked up a delicious meal for us and had some ice cream for dessert. We had fun watching the kids play afterward, wrestling, goofing off, etc. They had a good time playing in a different environment and showing off, as they often do. Becky was not there as she has been out of town working more lately. Hopefully we will get a chance to do that again with both Josh and Becky soon. Thanks again for the fun and food, 7-Up.

Last night we had our Kids Club leader meeting. It was well attended and went well. I think that the changes that Janine is trying out are things that will be positive for the kids and the leaders, too. We will be trying to do more small group stuff, which will give us opportunities to connect better with a smaller group of kids rather than being so spread out with such a large group. I am excited about it and for being able to participate again this year, as Traci has volunteered to watch the boys that night. It will hopefully be a good year. We will see many new faces and we will miss some mainstays of recent years (Nohemi, Daniel, Jaylee, Arleth, Roberto, Lizbeth, Julianne, Junior...all moved). It is always hard to see the kids go, but that is part of the package that comes with ministering in this highly transient neighborhood. On the flip side, Johnny and his siblings came back after being gone for almost a year. I think we all had just about given up hope on seeing him again, then all of a sudden he shows up at church one day...crazy. It was good to see him, though.

Shirley started school this week. She is just like most kids in that she was not looking forward to it starting up, but it seems that she has taken to it well. She has plenty of kids in her class that she already knows, which is nice, and hopefully starting out with everyone will help her as she continues her transition into the system. I am really hoping that she likes her teacher (the kids will not meet their actual teacher until the upcoming week...they have a fill in until then) and that she is able to understand more of what is going on in classes and such. She has improved in her English so much this summer, so hopefully that will give her more confidence in class. She is such a social kid, so I can't picture her not enjoying school, I just hope that she doesn't feel out of place, especially after last year's debacle of placing her 1 3/4 grade levels above what she had last studied/finished. And I hope she makes good friends.

I went to Alejandro Escoveda/Son Volt at Red Butte Gardens (last show of the summer series) last Sunday. I have to say that it was the best show of the summer. Both bands wowed the crowd and basically were hitting on all cylinders. Josh, Josiah, Richard and Brad went with, and we all had a good time hanging out, relaxing, enjoying the music. We had some trouble with some knuckleheads who didn't realize that there were 100 people sitting behind them trying to watch a show. They decided they should stand for half the show. We were all getting a little upset, but eventually they sat down or at least got out of the way enough for us to see what was happening. I just don't get fools who have no perception of anything but themselves. They bug me.

The Tigers are tanking. And I don't really want to talk about it.

It is still in the mid to high nineties here. It is ridiculous. I hate the heat and I was looking forward to it cooling down a bit, but it really hasn't. We are about 6" low on our rain measurements this year and it doesn't look like we will catch up in the next month. I really can't wait for fall and winter. Summertime is not good for anyone.

My movie making friend has asked me to try to put together a soundtrack for the movie based on the script that I have read. I had started by picking songs that I thought would fit, ranging from Blue Mountain to Bruce Cockburn, but he wanted me to write the music and songs. I have never thought in that mode, but I told him I would give it a try. I am interested to see what I might come up with...is that strange, that I am curious to see what I do? It sounded odd when I wrote it. Anyhow, it should be interesting.

I could use some sleep.

Oh. T-shirts. We are in the midst of choosing designs and finalizing some drawings. We have priced things out and are getting close to ordering. I am hoping to plant some pictures (advertisements) on here and on my lame facebook page before too long. Josiah's artwork is going to be featured, with some things that I have done every once in a while. Stay tuned for more news. And get your cash ready for the deal of a lifetime...or of the decade...or of the day...
...and I still dream of coffee, but it is still on the back burner.

Anyhow, I hope all is well. Don't get punched in the face.

Kip Dynamite: A Presidential Candidate for the Everyman

Well, things are getting back to normal now. After traveling around for a while (PA, then house sitting) we are finally back into our own house, busy getting the kids (and ourselves) back into routine. While we had fun traveling east and staying at our friends house, we always love coming back to our house. I really think that the kids missed their room and their toys and such. They have been playing a lot and sleeping better since our return.

The boys turned three yesterday, so we had a little party for them. It was quite a bit of fun, as we went out to eat with some friends and then returned home for some cake and ice cream and presents. It was really low key, as we only had a couple of gifts for the boys, but I have to say that I have never seen kids so excited about getting clothes. The boys were literally jumping around, doing somersaults, dancing, and showing off each item of clothing as they themselves discovered them among the shards of torn paper and cardboard. We all got a good laugh out of watching them and just enjoyed a good night of relaxing with friends. We were so happy that the boys had a good time and got to eat their cake and ice cream. Juancho had been anticipating this for quite some time, bringing up the party any time he could. I don't think he was disappointed. Shirley even got a little surprise when our friend Christie brought over a new "Troy" (from High School Musical) backpack full of supplies for the upcoming school year. Gifts for everyone!

Another highlight is having Brad, Traci and Joel back from Costa Rica. I picked them up a little after midnight on Monday night/Tuesday morning. It has been great to have them back and to hear of their adventures down there. It certainly brings back memories for us and our trip to Colombia earlier this year. We were happy to hear that they had a great time and that they were able to see sooooo many birds (I think over 200 different varieties!!!), which is something they truly love. Now I have my dog walking buddy back, too, which is nice. Having them back is all part of us getting into our "routine", too. Good stuff.

Tonight we had another night of company, as B, T, and J came over for lasagna. We were also joined by Josh and then by Sherri, who both could make it in spite of late invitations. We had a good time sitting at the dinner table sharing stories, discussing economics/politics/social issues. And the lasagna was delicious. It has just been nice to have our little community back after the summer months in which we seemed to be going this way and that way all the time. Winter schedules (school, kids club, etc.) will soon be in full effect, too, and we will be even more settled in. I am looking forward to it, for sure.

Josiah and I met with a t-shirt distributor/printer the other day and began our quest to make t-shirts. We were able to get quite a bit of information and have been going over the drawings and prices and such to get an idea of what we might/what we are able to do. It has been very exciting, to say the least, and has been another outlet for my creative side. Hopefully we will be able to get going on that and have pictures of designs here before too long. The coffee is kind of on the back burner now, but still rests in my head as something I would really like to do. One step at a time, though. Or one project at at time, anyway.

Work has been slowing down a bit as of late. We are getting close to wrapping up our full time stage of being there, as our tool install list continues to get lower. I am not looking forward to leaving that workplace, though, and I have been curious to know if there were openings in that particular work environment. That is not to say that I would go if offered, but I would be a fool to not listen. I am really not looking forward to the unexpected and extremely variable work of land surveying outside of IMFT's clean room environment. We'll see what happens. In the meantime, I hope that they forget about us and just keep us on full time down there...yeah, that would be cool.

Anyhow, I should probably get some sleep soon. I came home and fell asleep on my recliner this afternoon and I have a show to go to tomorrow (Calexico). I don't want to fall asleep during the concert...that could be embarrassing.

In the immortal words of Kip Dynamite: Peace out.