I used to live in a cabin, with no running water, with no appliances, with only a solitary light bulb to light the middle of the 30X20 foot space. I had no bathroom. I had no bed. Just two couches, a turntable, a cd player, and a refrigerator filled with grapefruit juice and milk. My nights were spent sitting on the hood of my car, smoking cigars (cheap ones), listening to Miles Davis, and discussing the finer nuances of the 1998 NBA draft. Those were some decent times.
I am not exactly sure why my mind is focusing here, why it drifted to the cabin, how it was renovated to three room when I spend the summer in it again in 2003 following the passing of my father. How the rooms now offered a bed and a tv (with no reception) and a computer, but how it was still very much the same; no running water, no bathroom, grapefruit juice. I worked for the National Park Service Trail Crew, spending 8 days at a time in some of the most remote parts of Alaska pruning and cutting growth that overflowed into the hidden trail systems of Wrangell St. Elias National Park. So when I didn't live in a cabin with no running water and no bathroom, I lived in a tent, with cold, wet clothes and a distinct lack of home-cooked meals. And I miss it all in certain degrees very much.
My wife once commented in her blog of how she said she had been somewhat thinking about going back to PA and renovating her parents' house so that our family could fit in and live with them. I told her that I had been thinking of becoming more proactive in living out a life that I could believe in. I thought about living more extreme, setting ourselves outside of conventions that I don't believe in. . .I know she is afraid that we will live in a tent someday. I would settle for a cabin.
Society's conventions are not necessarily for me. I hear people talk often about what they want to do, what they do, and how they equate their own lifestyles with who they are. It is part of their character, their personality, and they are defined (somewhat) by much of these things. Different strokes, I guess, but I have no interest in massive toys or weekends out on wave runners or $2 beer night at Iggy's. I have no interest in working on weekends or settling for the highest buck or decimating the earth for progress. I have little interest (I say little because it sometimes sounds tempting) in the 2800 sq.ft. house with the two car garage in a neat little neighborhood. I have no interest in just going to church every Sunday and saying that I am a Christian. But I am a part of all of these things. I might not simply do all of them, but I am a part of them all, and I encourage it by working where I work, shopping where I shop, dining where I dine, and driving where I drive. All in spite of society's conventions not necessarily being for me.
I really do want something different, something that takes care of the earth God gave us, something that steps outside of conventional living and all it's trust in money and oil and that our nation will always remain the same. I want to be self-sustaining, to grow food, to live locally, to get my hands dirty, to worship God with my lifestyle that revolves more around Him and less on the product and process of the current common lifestyle. I do believe that we are called to something else, although I am not sure of the timing, the place, the people, but I believe that God has spoken a clear message to my family and me, about how to live on His earth. This has effected my politics, my choices of commerce, our home living, and our outlook on many things. I want to live more simply, in a more sustainable way, without raping the earth, without cheating people out of a fair wage, without relying on oil as our substitute god, without the pressures of society to do more, be more, make more money, improve moral by shopping because you need that new thing even though your old thing is still completely operational and functional. Maybe it is a pipe dream. Maybe I am too idealistic. Maybe I am crazy. Maybe I don't know what I am doing or what I am talking about. Maybe. Or maybe God is truly taking us in this direction, maybe to the green of Oregon or the woods of Montana or the community of Midvale. Maybe. I don't know. I do know that people thought we were weird or crazy or that we didn't know what we were doing when we decided to adopt three kids from Colombia. Crazy. Idealistic. Ignorant. God knows what He is doing, though, and that is where my faith lies, not in the conventions of society or man. So we wait for that call, to know how and when and with whom, to progress in the living of the life to which He has called us.
I would settle for a cabin with a donkey and some pygmy goats.
I saw the singing of the anthems last night before game 4 of the NHL finals. My favorite part. I am not exactly sure what it is about hearing crowds of people singing in unison, but it gives me goose bumps. I felt the same when singing "El Shaddai" at the Mormon Tabernacle when Ravi Zaccharias spoke there. What I do know is that those Canadians sing! And in two languages! I hope Ottawa wins game five so we can go back to Ottawa for another rendition. Simply wonderful.
I think my non-band is playing this weekend. I call it a non-band because we have only played together a few times and have not really worked out much of who we are or what we do. We have very different musical tastes and I figure to use this weekend as a test to see whether or not it will be worth hanging on and playing with these guys more. The drive is 30 minutes to practice, and time is not something that I have plenty of, so it is difficult. We will see. We can't even agree on a name, either, which is a sure sign of trouble. I think we should be called "I Want To Punch You In The Face." That would be sure to bring the people in...
Anyhow, I should probably go to bed. I am tired and allergic to whatever is in the air tonight, so my eyes are trippin'. Straight trippin'.
Tuesday, June 5, 2007
Sunday, June 3, 2007
Oh, Canada
Well, the end to another weekend. I really need to not work on Saturdays so I can actually get some rest. This one wasn't so bad, though, as I only put in about five hours and was home at a decent time. Even so, it is a complete interruption of my weekend. I should have the next three off, though, which will be nice.
A while back we had an idea to find some land and develop it into a multi-plex housing unit. Our plans included a common kitchen area (industrial size, with wonderful appliances) while maintaining separate living quarters of about 1600 s/f for individual family units. We met with friends to discuss the reality of the situation, including buying land, developing actual building plans, how we would get the money (interest free loans from various sources, maybe), and why in the world we would even consider doing such a thing. The plan did not work out, however, and we eventually disbanded in favor of people finding houses on the market in our neighborhood. This has been more of a reality, as we have seen friends move closer, and others continue to look to move closer to the neighborhood. It has been encouraging, as we continue to work toward being a church that impacts the community in which we find ourselves. We found other reasons to live in such a way: environmentally friendly living, communal garden, and built in community (although we realistically knew that it wouldn't be without personal problems and issues). All this to say we are still interested, still looking for a way to live in a way that we feel God leading us. Any thoughts on this?
One of the more recent ideas is to start a business. A couple of buddies of mine and I were kicking around the idea of learning the trade of screen printing, as one of us is an artist and we all like t-shirts that are not exactly normal. A while later we attending the birthday of a friend we shall call "the bearded one," when it became apparent to us that this kindly gentlemen had a confectionery skill that we had not before realized. His interest in cakes and desserts piqued an interest in starting a bakery. But what is a bakery without bread? So another friend, who, I have heard, makes killer cinnamon rolls and has tried his hand in making bread is interested, too. So we have interest. And I love coffee. So I have been ordering my coffee from a fair trade, organically certified, shade grown place in Washington called www.groundsforchange.com . So with that, I looked and saw that they sell wholesale to independent coffee houses at a discounted rate. Then I had dreams about it all. Then I asked the others if they had been thinking about it. The answer is yes. But I am not sure where to go from here. I would love to do it, but is this the place? Do we have enough moxie to get up and run this thing? Four Guys Bakery and Coffee House? Are we savvy enough to get this done? How do we invest? What do we invest in? How much do we finance? Who is our clientele? Am I crazy for even thinking this way? How would this allow us to enhance our ministry? Too many questions, not enough easy answers.
Can we live in grace? Recently there has been an outpouring of dissent within the evangelical realm. Some of this I can just turn away from and go about my day, knowing that in a practical way we can mostly just get along. But recently there have been some folks who are seemingly intent on degrading my MA alma mater, calling out the school president as well as my advisor/teacher/friend, Dr. John Franke. If he is not a familiar name, he is at the forefront of the postmodern theological movement and has written a few books regarding such things. He was good friends with Stanley Grenz and since his passing away a couple of years back, Franke has taken the torch as the fore bearer of the postmodern turn. Many evangelicals find his thoughts on non-foundational ism and the role and interaction of Scripture/tradition/culture to be a threatening position. Some don't even call him evangelical because of some of his stances, which I am not too sure actually hurts his feelings. I sat under Franke for two years, learning a lot, being stretched, and finally hearing something that resonated within my own heart. I spent a year researching and working out thoughts on developing a Native American theology that was encouraged greatly by Franke and some other staff at Biblical. But now there are those who feel that he and others don't fit within the cultural milieu that has been the platform of past years at Biblical Seminary. And with this thought comes the call to report all the wrongs of Biblical and the teaching that goes on there. I find it less than gracious. I am disappointed. I find the particular stance of Biblical and more specifically of Dr. Franke to be a breath of fresh air in the church, one that is able to have conversation with people such as myself, who have been floating along in the realm of Christianity without really taking hold of things that were offered until I was able to stretch and find my voice as a Christian, to work out what it means for me to be a Christian in this world. More of Christianity began to make sense. In that sense, I cannot help but to take the criticism personally, even though I am removed from most of it now. It makes me sad, though, to hear of our lack of grace as brothers and sisters in Christ. Sad, but not surprising.
It's not all bad news, though, as Ottawa finally remembered that they were playing hockey and took it to the Ducks. I was cheering loudly in my basement, as my boys watched hockey with me. Juancho remarked to me, "me gusta hockey." That made me smile. As soon as he saw the nets he said "Goal!" recognizing and equating it with soccer. Funny kids. I still don't believe that they can pull off the series, as the Ducks look good, but I am still cheering for Canada, if for nothing else than to hear 18,000 Canadians sing their national anthem, as opposed to a poor, overly dramatic rendition by an over-rated American star. Oh, Canada, indeed.
Okay, I need to go. I am sleepy. Keep on rockin'.
A while back we had an idea to find some land and develop it into a multi-plex housing unit. Our plans included a common kitchen area (industrial size, with wonderful appliances) while maintaining separate living quarters of about 1600 s/f for individual family units. We met with friends to discuss the reality of the situation, including buying land, developing actual building plans, how we would get the money (interest free loans from various sources, maybe), and why in the world we would even consider doing such a thing. The plan did not work out, however, and we eventually disbanded in favor of people finding houses on the market in our neighborhood. This has been more of a reality, as we have seen friends move closer, and others continue to look to move closer to the neighborhood. It has been encouraging, as we continue to work toward being a church that impacts the community in which we find ourselves. We found other reasons to live in such a way: environmentally friendly living, communal garden, and built in community (although we realistically knew that it wouldn't be without personal problems and issues). All this to say we are still interested, still looking for a way to live in a way that we feel God leading us. Any thoughts on this?
One of the more recent ideas is to start a business. A couple of buddies of mine and I were kicking around the idea of learning the trade of screen printing, as one of us is an artist and we all like t-shirts that are not exactly normal. A while later we attending the birthday of a friend we shall call "the bearded one," when it became apparent to us that this kindly gentlemen had a confectionery skill that we had not before realized. His interest in cakes and desserts piqued an interest in starting a bakery. But what is a bakery without bread? So another friend, who, I have heard, makes killer cinnamon rolls and has tried his hand in making bread is interested, too. So we have interest. And I love coffee. So I have been ordering my coffee from a fair trade, organically certified, shade grown place in Washington called www.groundsforchange.com . So with that, I looked and saw that they sell wholesale to independent coffee houses at a discounted rate. Then I had dreams about it all. Then I asked the others if they had been thinking about it. The answer is yes. But I am not sure where to go from here. I would love to do it, but is this the place? Do we have enough moxie to get up and run this thing? Four Guys Bakery and Coffee House? Are we savvy enough to get this done? How do we invest? What do we invest in? How much do we finance? Who is our clientele? Am I crazy for even thinking this way? How would this allow us to enhance our ministry? Too many questions, not enough easy answers.
Can we live in grace? Recently there has been an outpouring of dissent within the evangelical realm. Some of this I can just turn away from and go about my day, knowing that in a practical way we can mostly just get along. But recently there have been some folks who are seemingly intent on degrading my MA alma mater, calling out the school president as well as my advisor/teacher/friend, Dr. John Franke. If he is not a familiar name, he is at the forefront of the postmodern theological movement and has written a few books regarding such things. He was good friends with Stanley Grenz and since his passing away a couple of years back, Franke has taken the torch as the fore bearer of the postmodern turn. Many evangelicals find his thoughts on non-foundational ism and the role and interaction of Scripture/tradition/culture to be a threatening position. Some don't even call him evangelical because of some of his stances, which I am not too sure actually hurts his feelings. I sat under Franke for two years, learning a lot, being stretched, and finally hearing something that resonated within my own heart. I spent a year researching and working out thoughts on developing a Native American theology that was encouraged greatly by Franke and some other staff at Biblical. But now there are those who feel that he and others don't fit within the cultural milieu that has been the platform of past years at Biblical Seminary. And with this thought comes the call to report all the wrongs of Biblical and the teaching that goes on there. I find it less than gracious. I am disappointed. I find the particular stance of Biblical and more specifically of Dr. Franke to be a breath of fresh air in the church, one that is able to have conversation with people such as myself, who have been floating along in the realm of Christianity without really taking hold of things that were offered until I was able to stretch and find my voice as a Christian, to work out what it means for me to be a Christian in this world. More of Christianity began to make sense. In that sense, I cannot help but to take the criticism personally, even though I am removed from most of it now. It makes me sad, though, to hear of our lack of grace as brothers and sisters in Christ. Sad, but not surprising.
It's not all bad news, though, as Ottawa finally remembered that they were playing hockey and took it to the Ducks. I was cheering loudly in my basement, as my boys watched hockey with me. Juancho remarked to me, "me gusta hockey." That made me smile. As soon as he saw the nets he said "Goal!" recognizing and equating it with soccer. Funny kids. I still don't believe that they can pull off the series, as the Ducks look good, but I am still cheering for Canada, if for nothing else than to hear 18,000 Canadians sing their national anthem, as opposed to a poor, overly dramatic rendition by an over-rated American star. Oh, Canada, indeed.
Okay, I need to go. I am sleepy. Keep on rockin'.
Thursday, May 31, 2007
teeth and lack of teeth
I took the day off. I had to. For those who did not know, our boys do not have the best teeth in the world, so after initial reactions and responses from our dentist, we knew that we had to have major work done in the boys' mouths. So today was the day.
We got the boys up earlier than usual so we could make it to the dentist by 7:30 this morning. We arrived there a little early and before too long they were ready to do some work on the boys. They started on Juancho, first giving him an initial shot before putting him on an IV to control the anesthetic. His turn lasted quite a while, more than two hours, as they capped teeth, filled cavities, and did some major stuff on his little mouth. During that time, Janine and I waited with Andres and tried to keep him entertained as best as possible. He did very well. We were then called in as Juan was done and coming off his anesthetic (he was really, really out of it). Andres got his shot and became quite dazed within a minute. His little mouth barely moved as he muttered "papi. . .papi. . .papi. . ." and then faded into an oblivious state before his turn in the dentist chair. His time lasted not nearly as long, as they had less work to do in his mouth (although he is now without his four front top teeth). All in all, we were there about 4 hours and spent more money on it all than I want to discuss (which reminds me that insurance is the biggest swindle in the world). The boys were both unable to control their appendages for a while and couldn't eat any solids, so we gave them water and applesauce and yogurt for most of the day. They did really well, though, and were very strong in spite of the pain and discomfort that they had to have been feeling for most of the day. They are troopers, for sure. I am proud of them.
While it was a long day, making sure they didn't stumble around and hurt themselves after the anesthetic, it is nice to have this behind us now. I am sure they will be thinking the same thing in a couple of days when the overall pain subsides and they are chowing down on hot dogs once again. It was good that I was able to take a day off work, as it would have been impossible for either Janine or me to do all of that on our own. I was glad she was there, and I am pretty sure she was glad I was there. I am glad it is done.
I have been listening to the new Elliott Smtih release. It is very good, very much an E.S. album. While the circumstances of his too early death are clouded at best, it is an understatement to say that we lost a great artist too soon.
On a note that doesn't really matter in any way shape or form, I am glad the Utah Jazz are out of the playoffs. I really can't stand most home teams, and I really can't stand home team fans. For the most part I believe that they are mostly full of bull and don't know what they are talking about. Here it will all be about blaming the refs for the series loss to San Antonio, and the boos and flying objects that rained down on the refs after game four. GOOD JOB, SLC...WAY TO SHOW YOUR SPORTSMANSHIP! Philly would be embarrassed if it acted like you. Bunch of homers, anyway. Utah sports...whatever...is there anything less insignificant?
Back to work tomorrow. I heard our client let our guys off early today. Figures. The day I am gone. Maybe I will be let out early tomorrow. Or at least on Saturday.
Hope all is well.
We got the boys up earlier than usual so we could make it to the dentist by 7:30 this morning. We arrived there a little early and before too long they were ready to do some work on the boys. They started on Juancho, first giving him an initial shot before putting him on an IV to control the anesthetic. His turn lasted quite a while, more than two hours, as they capped teeth, filled cavities, and did some major stuff on his little mouth. During that time, Janine and I waited with Andres and tried to keep him entertained as best as possible. He did very well. We were then called in as Juan was done and coming off his anesthetic (he was really, really out of it). Andres got his shot and became quite dazed within a minute. His little mouth barely moved as he muttered "papi. . .papi. . .papi. . ." and then faded into an oblivious state before his turn in the dentist chair. His time lasted not nearly as long, as they had less work to do in his mouth (although he is now without his four front top teeth). All in all, we were there about 4 hours and spent more money on it all than I want to discuss (which reminds me that insurance is the biggest swindle in the world). The boys were both unable to control their appendages for a while and couldn't eat any solids, so we gave them water and applesauce and yogurt for most of the day. They did really well, though, and were very strong in spite of the pain and discomfort that they had to have been feeling for most of the day. They are troopers, for sure. I am proud of them.
While it was a long day, making sure they didn't stumble around and hurt themselves after the anesthetic, it is nice to have this behind us now. I am sure they will be thinking the same thing in a couple of days when the overall pain subsides and they are chowing down on hot dogs once again. It was good that I was able to take a day off work, as it would have been impossible for either Janine or me to do all of that on our own. I was glad she was there, and I am pretty sure she was glad I was there. I am glad it is done.
I have been listening to the new Elliott Smtih release. It is very good, very much an E.S. album. While the circumstances of his too early death are clouded at best, it is an understatement to say that we lost a great artist too soon.
On a note that doesn't really matter in any way shape or form, I am glad the Utah Jazz are out of the playoffs. I really can't stand most home teams, and I really can't stand home team fans. For the most part I believe that they are mostly full of bull and don't know what they are talking about. Here it will all be about blaming the refs for the series loss to San Antonio, and the boos and flying objects that rained down on the refs after game four. GOOD JOB, SLC...WAY TO SHOW YOUR SPORTSMANSHIP! Philly would be embarrassed if it acted like you. Bunch of homers, anyway. Utah sports...whatever...is there anything less insignificant?
Back to work tomorrow. I heard our client let our guys off early today. Figures. The day I am gone. Maybe I will be let out early tomorrow. Or at least on Saturday.
Hope all is well.
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
voices of dissent...
I have to say that it is refreshing to see that there are others out there who share the same opinion. I was quite frustrated the other day and believe that my frustration appears quite readily in my comments. I do not revoke them, though, as I thoroughly believe that what I wrote is something that needs to be considered regardless of one's position on such matters. Certainly it would not be complete without considering things on a more well-rounded facet, though, and thus I am intent in trying to vocalize the ways in which I see a more true hermeneutic being put into praxis in regard to our theology. I should note that I believe that our theology only extends as far as we are willing to be obedient to Christ, regardless of our "right thinking" or whether or not our lives are not in-congruent to the Christian norms to which we have become accustomed. Re-evaluation (or evaluation, as "re" part would necessitate a prior critique that I am not always sure that we have done) is beneficial in many ways, specifically as we become more and more willing to accept the humility of Christ as part of who we are. That leads us to reconsider much of the way we do things, why we do them, and to what extent it is good or true. This is a difficult task for anyone, as we try to do the impossible: looking outside of ourselves at ourselves. Our ears must be open to the stories that make up not only our lives, but the lives of others as well. We do not travel in this story on our own, nor are we the only ones affected by the story of Christ (leading us to the concept of our interpretation not necessarily being the truest interpretation). In what ways is Christ liberator? In what ways is He loving savior? In what ways is He righteous judge? How does this look to one who lives under condemnation versus one who lives in complacency? How do they differ? How are they the same?
I know my vision is lacking, as I am often reminded in conversations with other Christians. I also know that the philosophical underpinnings of my epistemological functions are different than they are/were for my parents, and in some cases some of my peers. I do practice a different hermeneutic than many of my evangelical brethren, and even would be called into question whether or not I was evangelical at all in other circles. I do know this: I believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Redeemer, the Son of God, and that through Him (in a way that I dare not pretend to truly understand) I am granted eternal life, whatever that means. My life has to reflect that which I believe, which is a daunting, if not impossible, task to begin with, so my words here reflect some of my thoughts on that from time to time. Hence my Memorial Day comments regarding church. Hence my thoughts on creation. Hence my distaste for patriotism that very strongly influences and blurs the lines to what my hermeneutic tells me Christianity actually is. I am green. I am green because I believe that God calls me to be so. I am political. I am political in the sense that I believe God calls me to clothe the naked, feed the hungry, and take care of the alien. What meaning does this have in this day and age, in this place? For me it means much about the rights of humanity, regardless of economic status or position or nationality. I am for amnesty, not for economic purposes, but because I love my neighbors, many of whom are undocumented. So I continue to participate (in small ways, but positive ways) to educate, to feed, to clothe, to disciple those with whom my family and I come into contact. I will continue to do so, even as I see families torn apart and the economic structures continue to cheat and swindle those who are already downtrodden. There are too many similarities between my own people and those who I see on the "underside" of society here, and it breaks my heart.
Humanity is a problem. My distaste for global, democratic capitalism is something that has come from the problem of sinful humanity. My Marxist sympathies come from such distaste even though I realize that political systems are as corrupt as the humans who are participating in such systems, and that is a problem. I don't believe that global democratic capitalism has any higher standing in the kingdom of God than does the values of a communist structure (without the "godless" aspect). I don't believe that democracy is inherently beneficial to societies, especially when, in many cases, it is inherently beneficial to a small amount of people while the rest are encouraged to continue on in their sheepish ways. Follow the herd. Don't wander too far from the flock. Etc.
Voices of dissent are often met as voices of the enemy and are often met with aggression that is not called for. This voice is one of dissent in most circles in which I travel, but I don't believe I am the enemy. I often have heard it said that we are lucky to be in a place where we are free to worship any way in which we please, but I wonder if that statement is true. What would be said if I offered smoke prayers to the north, south, east and west? What would happen if a congregation of Native Americans practiced the Ghost Dance in such a free land? Would they be slaughtered (Wounded Knee)? Is it so free? And if that freedom is true, does it disadvantage us by fostering a complacency which is unseen, unheard, unknown because of the ease of "worshipping" our God? I don't know. But I wonder.
So what kind of difference can we make? Again, what are we willing to do? Are we willing to be obedient? Are we willing to get up and go? Are we willing to do that which we are called to do even though it might not be our first, second or hundredth choice? What are we willing to do? Are we willing to live more simply? To take care of the earth? To actually value what it means to be the Bride of Christ? How would our lives look different? How would we treat the alien? How much gas would we use? Would we buy that shirt or shoes or those bananas? That Jesus is a hard act to follow. Seriously.
By the way, got the new Wilco and am enjoying it. Should I be buying more cds? I don't know. I am always fighting that one...
I know my vision is lacking, as I am often reminded in conversations with other Christians. I also know that the philosophical underpinnings of my epistemological functions are different than they are/were for my parents, and in some cases some of my peers. I do practice a different hermeneutic than many of my evangelical brethren, and even would be called into question whether or not I was evangelical at all in other circles. I do know this: I believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Redeemer, the Son of God, and that through Him (in a way that I dare not pretend to truly understand) I am granted eternal life, whatever that means. My life has to reflect that which I believe, which is a daunting, if not impossible, task to begin with, so my words here reflect some of my thoughts on that from time to time. Hence my Memorial Day comments regarding church. Hence my thoughts on creation. Hence my distaste for patriotism that very strongly influences and blurs the lines to what my hermeneutic tells me Christianity actually is. I am green. I am green because I believe that God calls me to be so. I am political. I am political in the sense that I believe God calls me to clothe the naked, feed the hungry, and take care of the alien. What meaning does this have in this day and age, in this place? For me it means much about the rights of humanity, regardless of economic status or position or nationality. I am for amnesty, not for economic purposes, but because I love my neighbors, many of whom are undocumented. So I continue to participate (in small ways, but positive ways) to educate, to feed, to clothe, to disciple those with whom my family and I come into contact. I will continue to do so, even as I see families torn apart and the economic structures continue to cheat and swindle those who are already downtrodden. There are too many similarities between my own people and those who I see on the "underside" of society here, and it breaks my heart.
Humanity is a problem. My distaste for global, democratic capitalism is something that has come from the problem of sinful humanity. My Marxist sympathies come from such distaste even though I realize that political systems are as corrupt as the humans who are participating in such systems, and that is a problem. I don't believe that global democratic capitalism has any higher standing in the kingdom of God than does the values of a communist structure (without the "godless" aspect). I don't believe that democracy is inherently beneficial to societies, especially when, in many cases, it is inherently beneficial to a small amount of people while the rest are encouraged to continue on in their sheepish ways. Follow the herd. Don't wander too far from the flock. Etc.
Voices of dissent are often met as voices of the enemy and are often met with aggression that is not called for. This voice is one of dissent in most circles in which I travel, but I don't believe I am the enemy. I often have heard it said that we are lucky to be in a place where we are free to worship any way in which we please, but I wonder if that statement is true. What would be said if I offered smoke prayers to the north, south, east and west? What would happen if a congregation of Native Americans practiced the Ghost Dance in such a free land? Would they be slaughtered (Wounded Knee)? Is it so free? And if that freedom is true, does it disadvantage us by fostering a complacency which is unseen, unheard, unknown because of the ease of "worshipping" our God? I don't know. But I wonder.
So what kind of difference can we make? Again, what are we willing to do? Are we willing to be obedient? Are we willing to get up and go? Are we willing to do that which we are called to do even though it might not be our first, second or hundredth choice? What are we willing to do? Are we willing to live more simply? To take care of the earth? To actually value what it means to be the Bride of Christ? How would our lives look different? How would we treat the alien? How much gas would we use? Would we buy that shirt or shoes or those bananas? That Jesus is a hard act to follow. Seriously.
By the way, got the new Wilco and am enjoying it. Should I be buying more cds? I don't know. I am always fighting that one...
Monday, May 28, 2007
thoughts on any monday
I really can't believe how quickly the days go by. I thought it was maybe just ten days since I had last written, but it has obviously been longer. We have done quite a bit since my last entry.
We had our first post-adoption meeting with our social worker Donna. It went really well and was encouraging to hear that most everything we are experiencing is normal and that she thought we were doing a wonderful job. It is so nice that our kids are friendly, and comfortable enough to be friendly with other people, too. The meeting was quick and painless and left us feeling good about how things are going. We are required to have two more meetings (one in three months and another in nine) and then we will be done with our post-adoption meetings. It is nice to have people who have seen/been a part of this kind of stuff before.
It is also nice to have wonderful friends who have been helping us in a variety of ways since we returned from Colombia. The kindness and generosity of our friends is tremendous and humbles me beyond description. I don't want to name names and embarrass people, so to those who have been integral in our lives here and who have helped us out in innumerable and immeasurable ways: thank you for your friendship. . .your love radiates beyond that which you will ever know.
Last weekend we also got the chance to take a trip out to Antelope Island (north of our abode by about 45 minutes). We carpooled in two vehicles with our family, Brad, Traci, and Joel, Josiah & Jill, and Mr. 7-UP himself, Josh (Becky was working out of town) and headed out in the morning for a day of fun spotting animals, birds, and enjoying the beauty and fun of the ranch. We packed picnic lunches and ate in the shade of the lush picnic area while playing with the kids and enjoying good conversation. It was a very relaxing day that everyone enjoyed. The kids, especially, had fun looking at buffalo, horses, antelope, owls and other stuff. It is always nice to take the kids out to see the beauty of what God has created. I hope that is always a part of what we do with the kids.
We finished a large portion of our work at my job site (which I can't really talk about) recently and have cut down to one crew. I am one that is staying, but it isn't really getting any better. I enjoy this particular job, but with the cut down to one crew I am now getting more hours and have a lot less flexibility than I had when we were two crews. I am disappointed with the outcome (especially that one of the guys taken out was one with whom I really enjoyed working) but am willing to stick it out for the time being. My eyes are always open for new opportunity, but have yet to really locate anything that looks like anything for which I am educated or interested in doing. In cutting down to one crew it actually raised my hours by about 5 per week. I am disgusted with the time I spend working.
One benefit to working is meeting many different people and discussing issues from a variety of points of view. I have met a socialist friend (whom I always refer to as my socialist friend when I am discussing him) with whom I have lengthy conversations regarding politics, social sciences, economics, etc. He is from Venezuela and has found it to be his cause to challenge my communist sympathies, even though we agree on much regarding the faults of the current system of government/society/economics. It is obvious that it is no system that is absolutely correct of absolutely corrupt, and I believe my sympathies are a direct result to what I view as shortcomings and inconsistencies of global capitalism (in which the ills of our society are not even necessarily viewed or considered because of the adage: out of sight, out of mind). So now I try to keep my house greener...less energy...more carpooling...we try to not shop at places that have evolved into morally bankrupt centers of commerce (yeah, you, Wal-Mart) and have joined a local food co-op to try to support locally-grown, organic food. We also participate in having a local dairy operation provide us with their non-MDMH injected milk and cage-free eggs. I have also started buying my coffee from www.groundsforchange.com as another way of supporting fair-trade and ecologically sound growing methods. I say this, not to brag, but to maybe offer some small ways in which we can all make a difference. The global market is one of exploitation, but it will continue to exploit as people continue to buy at places that propagate such practices. We can help to administer change by changing our economic habits, by becoming more educated on the products we buy, the places we shop, and by starting out one step at a time. Can we shop locally? Do we need to continue to administer a get out of jail free card to corporations who continue to produce cheap products via cheap and unfair labor practices in other countries? Can we begin to walk in way that promotes humanity and not just a global market that benefits the consumer in the western world? The question I often hear is "what can I do?" when this discussion ensues. My answer is always the same: What are you willing to do? There are so many ways in which we can propagate change, but we have to be willing to do these things, we have to be determined, because they are not always easy. Look into it. Shop locally for as many products as possible. Avoid mass chains as much as possible. Look into greener living.
Memorial Day. It really takes on a different meaning to me, and probably to most Native Americans. I understand why the U.S. desires to honor its fallen soldiers, and I understand why it was instituted following the Civil War. But one has to at least admit that there are vast differences in opinion on what should be celebrated, in what way, and in what venue. We should also admit that there are differences in opinion in the conflicts or wars or whatever that we should recognize when discussing the politics of such a day that honors the fallen military men and women. Can we really say that our involvement in World War II should be treated the same as our involvement in Vietnam? Or what about the Civil War? Or our current conflict in Iraq? Are these fought for the same circumstances? Should they be discussed with the same sense of patriotism regardless of the varying circumstances? I personally don't think so. And then, as was so graciously pointed out to me in a church Memorial Day service (which made me want to vomit) yesterday, there were 1000 fallen soldiers in the "Indian Wars" which lasted about 80 years in the 1800's. Okay. 1000. That is a big number. That is larger than my hometown. It is nothing to laugh at. 1000. So how do I reply when in the most conservative estimates there were over 2.5 million Native Americans wiped out, many during this time? The largest estimates are closer to 10 million. How do I react to that? More Native Americans were killed than the sum of all the fallen U.S. soldiers in battle since 1776. And then to list the "Indian Wars" as part of this memorial day celebration? Honor that? I can't do it. My apologies to those who have served or are serving, but I can't do it. My memorial day looks very different. There are no flags flying at my house. The destruction of peoples and cultures is no reason to memorialize those who participated in such acts. Which brings me back to looking at the circumstances of our involvement in the multiple wars in which we have been involved since 1776. Are they not different? Are they not for different reasons? Do we really believe that we are protecting our soil by setting up garrisons (over 700) in the world? Or are we protecting our economic interests, or at least the economic interests of those who are involved (I don't care by what degree of separation)? Can we say that WWI is the same as Desert Storm? That WWII is the same as Operation: Iraqi Freedom? I am not anti-American at all. I don't mean to diminish or insult soldiers at all. But how can we not ask these questions? How can I not ask these questions, when I am not anti-American, but when what I see what America should be to look so much different than what it does right now? 2.5 million, the lowest estimate.
And back to this Memorial Day service being a part of our church service (actually, the whole service). It's absolutely ridiculous to propagate such things in a church service. Any memorial day in a service that does not mention remembering the story of God or discussing the building of Bethel as a monument in remembrance as to the direction that God has led us is not a memorial day service that I want to be a part of. It seems like a conflict to me that there is a pronounced separation of church and state in our nation, but in actuality the evangelical church often acts as if they are one in the same. So are we a part of a theocracy or do we have separation? I am not getting it. What do we want? Freedom to worship or prayer in schools? We really can't have both. It is logically not cohesive in a non-homogeneous society. So we deepen the shaded areas in the division of church and state by placing a flag on the power point and we sing nationalistic songs as hymns to God. We do this with children of immigrants, granddaughters of Japanese descent, and the lone Native American sit in a service that strangely did not even weave back and forth between God and nationalism, but strictly hanged itself in the realm of nationalism. Separation of church and state, indeed. I think I am going to be sick.
I am not an ingrate; I am a free-thinker.
Join your local library. Buy fair-trade. Consider the implications of less oil-production in an oil-based economy. Stop using Styrofoam. Re-use plastic bags. Tupperware instead of sandwich bags. Consider renewable energy. Change your light bulbs to compact fluorescents. Enjoy free public spaces. Make an impact on the way we treat the earth, not the earth itself. What are you willing to do?
http://www.gp.org/
We had our first post-adoption meeting with our social worker Donna. It went really well and was encouraging to hear that most everything we are experiencing is normal and that she thought we were doing a wonderful job. It is so nice that our kids are friendly, and comfortable enough to be friendly with other people, too. The meeting was quick and painless and left us feeling good about how things are going. We are required to have two more meetings (one in three months and another in nine) and then we will be done with our post-adoption meetings. It is nice to have people who have seen/been a part of this kind of stuff before.
It is also nice to have wonderful friends who have been helping us in a variety of ways since we returned from Colombia. The kindness and generosity of our friends is tremendous and humbles me beyond description. I don't want to name names and embarrass people, so to those who have been integral in our lives here and who have helped us out in innumerable and immeasurable ways: thank you for your friendship. . .your love radiates beyond that which you will ever know.
Last weekend we also got the chance to take a trip out to Antelope Island (north of our abode by about 45 minutes). We carpooled in two vehicles with our family, Brad, Traci, and Joel, Josiah & Jill, and Mr. 7-UP himself, Josh (Becky was working out of town) and headed out in the morning for a day of fun spotting animals, birds, and enjoying the beauty and fun of the ranch. We packed picnic lunches and ate in the shade of the lush picnic area while playing with the kids and enjoying good conversation. It was a very relaxing day that everyone enjoyed. The kids, especially, had fun looking at buffalo, horses, antelope, owls and other stuff. It is always nice to take the kids out to see the beauty of what God has created. I hope that is always a part of what we do with the kids.
We finished a large portion of our work at my job site (which I can't really talk about) recently and have cut down to one crew. I am one that is staying, but it isn't really getting any better. I enjoy this particular job, but with the cut down to one crew I am now getting more hours and have a lot less flexibility than I had when we were two crews. I am disappointed with the outcome (especially that one of the guys taken out was one with whom I really enjoyed working) but am willing to stick it out for the time being. My eyes are always open for new opportunity, but have yet to really locate anything that looks like anything for which I am educated or interested in doing. In cutting down to one crew it actually raised my hours by about 5 per week. I am disgusted with the time I spend working.
One benefit to working is meeting many different people and discussing issues from a variety of points of view. I have met a socialist friend (whom I always refer to as my socialist friend when I am discussing him) with whom I have lengthy conversations regarding politics, social sciences, economics, etc. He is from Venezuela and has found it to be his cause to challenge my communist sympathies, even though we agree on much regarding the faults of the current system of government/society/economics. It is obvious that it is no system that is absolutely correct of absolutely corrupt, and I believe my sympathies are a direct result to what I view as shortcomings and inconsistencies of global capitalism (in which the ills of our society are not even necessarily viewed or considered because of the adage: out of sight, out of mind). So now I try to keep my house greener...less energy...more carpooling...we try to not shop at places that have evolved into morally bankrupt centers of commerce (yeah, you, Wal-Mart) and have joined a local food co-op to try to support locally-grown, organic food. We also participate in having a local dairy operation provide us with their non-MDMH injected milk and cage-free eggs. I have also started buying my coffee from www.groundsforchange.com as another way of supporting fair-trade and ecologically sound growing methods. I say this, not to brag, but to maybe offer some small ways in which we can all make a difference. The global market is one of exploitation, but it will continue to exploit as people continue to buy at places that propagate such practices. We can help to administer change by changing our economic habits, by becoming more educated on the products we buy, the places we shop, and by starting out one step at a time. Can we shop locally? Do we need to continue to administer a get out of jail free card to corporations who continue to produce cheap products via cheap and unfair labor practices in other countries? Can we begin to walk in way that promotes humanity and not just a global market that benefits the consumer in the western world? The question I often hear is "what can I do?" when this discussion ensues. My answer is always the same: What are you willing to do? There are so many ways in which we can propagate change, but we have to be willing to do these things, we have to be determined, because they are not always easy. Look into it. Shop locally for as many products as possible. Avoid mass chains as much as possible. Look into greener living.
Memorial Day. It really takes on a different meaning to me, and probably to most Native Americans. I understand why the U.S. desires to honor its fallen soldiers, and I understand why it was instituted following the Civil War. But one has to at least admit that there are vast differences in opinion on what should be celebrated, in what way, and in what venue. We should also admit that there are differences in opinion in the conflicts or wars or whatever that we should recognize when discussing the politics of such a day that honors the fallen military men and women. Can we really say that our involvement in World War II should be treated the same as our involvement in Vietnam? Or what about the Civil War? Or our current conflict in Iraq? Are these fought for the same circumstances? Should they be discussed with the same sense of patriotism regardless of the varying circumstances? I personally don't think so. And then, as was so graciously pointed out to me in a church Memorial Day service (which made me want to vomit) yesterday, there were 1000 fallen soldiers in the "Indian Wars" which lasted about 80 years in the 1800's. Okay. 1000. That is a big number. That is larger than my hometown. It is nothing to laugh at. 1000. So how do I reply when in the most conservative estimates there were over 2.5 million Native Americans wiped out, many during this time? The largest estimates are closer to 10 million. How do I react to that? More Native Americans were killed than the sum of all the fallen U.S. soldiers in battle since 1776. And then to list the "Indian Wars" as part of this memorial day celebration? Honor that? I can't do it. My apologies to those who have served or are serving, but I can't do it. My memorial day looks very different. There are no flags flying at my house. The destruction of peoples and cultures is no reason to memorialize those who participated in such acts. Which brings me back to looking at the circumstances of our involvement in the multiple wars in which we have been involved since 1776. Are they not different? Are they not for different reasons? Do we really believe that we are protecting our soil by setting up garrisons (over 700) in the world? Or are we protecting our economic interests, or at least the economic interests of those who are involved (I don't care by what degree of separation)? Can we say that WWI is the same as Desert Storm? That WWII is the same as Operation: Iraqi Freedom? I am not anti-American at all. I don't mean to diminish or insult soldiers at all. But how can we not ask these questions? How can I not ask these questions, when I am not anti-American, but when what I see what America should be to look so much different than what it does right now? 2.5 million, the lowest estimate.
And back to this Memorial Day service being a part of our church service (actually, the whole service). It's absolutely ridiculous to propagate such things in a church service. Any memorial day in a service that does not mention remembering the story of God or discussing the building of Bethel as a monument in remembrance as to the direction that God has led us is not a memorial day service that I want to be a part of. It seems like a conflict to me that there is a pronounced separation of church and state in our nation, but in actuality the evangelical church often acts as if they are one in the same. So are we a part of a theocracy or do we have separation? I am not getting it. What do we want? Freedom to worship or prayer in schools? We really can't have both. It is logically not cohesive in a non-homogeneous society. So we deepen the shaded areas in the division of church and state by placing a flag on the power point and we sing nationalistic songs as hymns to God. We do this with children of immigrants, granddaughters of Japanese descent, and the lone Native American sit in a service that strangely did not even weave back and forth between God and nationalism, but strictly hanged itself in the realm of nationalism. Separation of church and state, indeed. I think I am going to be sick.
I am not an ingrate; I am a free-thinker.
Join your local library. Buy fair-trade. Consider the implications of less oil-production in an oil-based economy. Stop using Styrofoam. Re-use plastic bags. Tupperware instead of sandwich bags. Consider renewable energy. Change your light bulbs to compact fluorescents. Enjoy free public spaces. Make an impact on the way we treat the earth, not the earth itself. What are you willing to do?
http://www.gp.org/
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